"I don't like that man. I must get to know him better."

Sometimes, the people we least like at first glance turn out to be the most interesting once we give them a chance. The core idea here is pretty simple: our initial judgments can be misleading, and by taking the time to understand someone, we often find common ground or even admiration.

Imagine it’s the 1800s, and Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, is dealing with all sorts of people. He’s known for his wisdom and ability to see the bigger picture. This quote reflects his approach to dealing with disagreements and personal biases. Basically, when Lincoln felt an aversion towards someone, he saw it as a sign that he needed to delve deeper, to understand them better. It’s a lesson in empathy and patience.

Let’s take a look at a real-life example. Think about the workplace. There’s always that one colleague who rubs you the wrong way. Maybe they’re too loud, too quiet, or their work style just doesn’t mesh with yours. Karen from accounting, for instance, always seems a bit standoffish. She never joins in on the office banter and sticks to her cubicle like it’s a fortress. It’s easy to write her off as unfriendly. But what if you took Lincoln's advice?

Instead of avoiding Karen, you invite her for a coffee. You chat about work, but also about life outside the office. You learn that she’s caring for her elderly parents, which is why she’s often stressed and preoccupied. Suddenly, she’s not just “that unfriendly person” but someone with a lot on her plate. Your perception shifts, and you start to see her as a whole person rather than a collection of traits you don’t like.

Here’s how you can apply this wisdom in your own life. The next time you find yourself disliking someone, resist the urge to dismiss them. Instead, make an effort to engage with them. Ask open-ended questions. Listen to their story. It’s not about forcing yourself to like everyone, but about opening the door to understanding. You might find that there are reasons behind behaviors that initially put you off, and that knowledge can bridge gaps.

Think about a scenario from your school days. There’s a kid named Bobby who’s always causing trouble in class. Teachers don’t know what to do with him, and students keep their distance. He’s labeled a troublemaker, end of story. But one day, you’re paired with him for a group project. You’re not thrilled, but you go along with it. As you spend time working together, Bobby opens up. You find out he’s dealing with stuff at home—parents fighting, financial stress. That’s a lot for a kid to handle. Suddenly, his behavior makes sense. You don’t excuse it, but you understand it. And that understanding changes everything.

In the end, it’s about giving people a chance. We all have our battles, and sometimes, those struggles manifest in ways that make us hard to like at first. But if we take the time to get to know each other, we often find that beneath the surface, we’re more alike than we are different. So next time you find yourself thinking, “I don’t like that person,” remember Lincoln’s wisdom. Get to know them better—you might be surprised at what you discover.