"The more we struggle for life (as pleasure), the more we are actually killing what we love."

Struggling to grab hold of every bit of happiness can sometimes feel like trying to catch water with your hands. The harder you try, the more it slips away. This idea boils down to the notion that when we chase pleasure too intensely, we inadvertently destroy the very experiences we seek to cherish.

Think back to the 1960s and '70s, an era marked by a cultural shift towards hedonism. People were pursuing pleasure with fervor, from the free love movement to the rise of hedonistic lifestyles. But in that relentless pursuit, many found themselves burnt out, disconnected, and, ironically, less happy than when they started. The counter-culture movement was in many ways a reaction to the restrictive norms of the previous decades, yet it showcased that unbridled pursuit of pleasure without balance often leads to a hollow outcome.

Now, let’s ground this idea with a tangible example. Imagine you have a friend who loves playing the guitar. They find genuine joy in it, so they decide to take it more seriously. They start practicing for hours every day, aiming to become a professional. But as they push themselves harder and harder, the joy they once felt turns into frustration and pressure. The love for the guitar starts to fade, replaced by a sense of obligation and stress. In their struggle to make music their life, they’ve killed the pleasure they used to get from it.

So, how can you apply this wisdom in your own life? The key is balance. It’s vital to recognize when the pursuit of pleasure becomes a source of stress rather than joy. Ask yourself if your efforts are enhancing your happiness or if they're making you feel trapped. If something you once loved starts to feel like a chore, it might be time to step back. Give yourself permission to enjoy things without the pressure to excel at them. It’s okay to have hobbies just for the fun of it, without turning every passion into a project.

Let me tell you a story. Picture a young woman named Claire. Claire loves baking. It’s her escape after a long day, a way to unwind. People rave about her cakes, and she starts thinking, “Maybe I could turn this into a business.” She dives into it headfirst, setting up an Instagram page, taking orders, staying up late to perfect her recipes. At first, it’s exhilarating. But soon, the joy of baking starts to fade. She’s stressed about meeting deadlines, worried about customer reviews, and constantly trying to outdo herself. The kitchen, once her haven, becomes a source of anxiety. Claire realizes she’s lost the love she had for baking because she was so focused on turning it into something bigger.

If you find yourself in Claire's shoes, take a step back. Remember why you started. It’s okay to pursue your passions, but always be mindful of the love that sparked them in the first place. Don’t let the struggle to achieve more rob you of the simple pleasures.

So next time you find yourself pushing too hard for something you love, pause and ask: Am I still enjoying this? If not, maybe it’s time to ease up and let the love flow back in naturally. Sometimes, the best way to hold onto what you love is to relax your grip.