"When we attempt to exercise power or control over someone else, we cannot avoid giving that person the very same power or control over us."

Trying to control someone else is a double-edged sword. When you try to exert power over someone, you end up surrendering some of your own control to them. This happens because power games create a dynamic where the person you're trying to control becomes a major part of your focus and energy. Your actions and decisions begin to revolve around them, and in a sense, they start to control you too.

Historically, this idea has been relevant in various contexts. Think of political leaders who become obsessed with quelling opposition. In trying to squash dissent, they often become paranoid, dedicating enormous resources and attention to tracking and controlling their rivals. This makes them reactive rather than proactive, and significantly influences their behavior and decisions.

Here's a real-life example: Imagine a manager at work who micromanages their team. Initially, they may feel a sense of control by overseeing every detail. But soon, the manager's time and energy are consumed by this task. The team members become dependent on the manager's approval for every minor decision, and the manager can't focus on their own work because they're too busy supervising. In trying to control the team, the manager has made themselves indispensable—and not in a good way. The team ends up with a lot of power over the manager’s time and peace of mind.

So, how do you apply this wisdom? First, recognize when you’re falling into the trap of trying to control others. Ask yourself why you feel the need to exert this control. Is it insecurity or fear of failure? Once you’ve identified the root, work on that instead of trying to micromanage people. Trust in others, delegate tasks, and allow them the autonomy to succeed or fail on their own terms. This not only empowers them but also frees you up to focus on your own responsibilities and growth.

Let me tell you a story that might help illustrate this more clearly. Imagine you’re a parent with a teenager who’s just started dating. Naturally, you’re concerned and want to make sure they’re safe. So, you start setting strict curfews, demanding to know where they are at all times, and even following them occasionally. At first, it feels like you’ve got everything under control. But soon, your teenager starts lying about their whereabouts, sneaking out, and resenting your overreach. Your relationship becomes strained, and you spend countless hours worrying, checking up on them, and trying to catch them in a lie. The more you try to control their behavior, the more they push back, and the more you find yourself consumed by the effort to control.

In contrast, if you build a foundation of trust, have open conversations about safety and respect, and give them some autonomy, you might find that they’re more likely to come to you with their problems. They feel respected and trusted, and you’re not spending all your time and energy trying to control every aspect of their life.

In summary, trying to control others often backfires, making us prisoners to our own efforts to micromanage. By trusting others and focusing on our own actions, we can create healthier, more balanced relationships.