"نقص اساسی پدران این است که می‌خواهند فرزندانشان اعتبار آن‌ها باشند"

Parents, especially fathers, often desire their children to reflect well upon them. At its core, this idea suggests that dads sometimes prioritize their own image over their child's individuality and happiness. When fathers want their kids to make them look good, they're not necessarily thinking about what the children truly need or want. Instead, they're projecting their wishes and expectations onto their offspring.

Historically, societal norms and pressures have played a significant role in shaping this mindset. In many cultures, a family's reputation and honor have been tied to the achievements and behavior of its members. Fathers felt a responsibility to ensure their children upheld the family's status, sometimes to the detriment of the children's personal desires and dreams. This is not just a relic of the past, though; it's still prevalent today in various forms.

Consider the story of Mark and his son, Jake. Mark had always dreamed of being a star athlete, but life had other plans. When Jake showed interest in sports, Mark saw an opportunity for his unfulfilled dreams to come true through his son. He pushed Jake hard, enrolled him in every camp, and attended every practice with high expectations. Jake, however, loved playing the piano and yearned to pursue music. The pressure from his father led to countless arguments and a strained relationship. Only when Mark realized that Jake needed to chase his own dreams did things improve. Jake went on to become a respected musician, and their bond grew stronger once Mark embraced Jake's passions.

So, how can we apply this insight? First, as parents or mentors, we need to recognize our biases and desires. It's essential to ask ourselves if the path we're encouraging is genuinely for our child's benefit or our own. Open communication is key—talk to your children about their interests and support them in exploring those avenues, even if they differ from your expectations. Encourage their individuality and celebrate their unique talents.

Imagine you're a father who was a stellar student, always getting straight A's. You might naturally want your child to excel academically. But what if your child is more artistically inclined, finding joy in painting rather than in algebra? Pushing them solely towards academic excellence might suppress their creativity and lead to resentment. Instead, providing them with the resources and encouragement to explore art can help them thrive and feel valued for who they are.

It's like nurturing a garden. Every plant is different. Some thrive in the sun, while others need shade. If you treat all plants the same, some won't survive. But if you understand and cater to each one's needs, your garden will flourish beautifully. Parenting is similar. Each child is unique, and recognizing and respecting that individuality can lead to a happier, more fulfilled life for them—and a more rewarding relationship for you.

In essence, the wisdom here is about letting go of our ego and embracing our children's true selves. By doing so, we not only foster their personal growth and happiness but also create a deeper, more authentic connection with them. It's a lesson in humility and love that, when applied, can transform not just the parent-child relationship but the entire family dynamic.