"If we were meant to be, we would have been by now"

Sometimes, we find ourselves reflecting on past relationships and wondering why things didn't work out. The idea here is straightforward yet profoundly resonant: if a relationship was truly meant to be, it would have already happened. It hasn't, so perhaps it's time to move on.

Think about it—when something is right, it usually falls into place without forcing. This thought can be comforting, especially when we're caught in the endless cycle of "what ifs" and "could have beens." It's like the universe's way of saying, "Hey, it wasn't meant to happen, let it go."

Historically, this sentiment has been echoed through various cultures and philosophies. It aligns with the concept of destiny or fate. Ancient Greeks, for instance, believed in the idea of "moira" or fate, where certain things are beyond our control. They understood that some paths were pre-determined and that struggling against them was futile.

Let's dive into a real-life example. Picture Jane, who's been hung up on her ex, Mark, for years. They've broken up several times, only to get back together in short, turbulent bursts. Jane keeps thinking that if they try just one more time, things will be different. But each reunion ends the same—arguments, misunderstandings, and heartbreak. Finally, Jane encounters a piece of advice: "If we were meant to be, we would have been by now." It hits her like a lightning bolt. She realizes that holding on to Mark is only keeping her from finding true happiness elsewhere. She decides to move on and put herself out there. Eventually, she meets someone who clicks with her in all the right ways.

So, how can you apply this wisdom? First, give yourself permission to let go. It's not an admission of failure; it's an acknowledgment that the relationship wasn't right for either of you. Allow yourself some time to grieve, but set a mental deadline for when you'll start focusing on the future rather than the past.

Second, stay open to new experiences and people. It's easy to stay in your comfort zone, but stepping out of it can lead to unexpected joys. Don't let past disappointments cloud your judgment or make you cynical about love.

Now, imagine you're at a cozy coffee shop with a friend. You're both sipping on lattes, and your friend is agonizing over a past relationship. She keeps saying, "If only we had tried harder," or "Maybe it just wasn’t the right time." You lean in, look her in the eyes, and say, "You know what? If it was meant to be, it would have happened by now. It's time to focus on what’s ahead."

Your friend might resist at first. It’s human nature to hold on to what’s familiar, even if it’s not good for us. But you remind her of the times she’s been happy, the potential for new adventures, and the joy she could find in someone new. You help her visualize a life where she's not haunted by the past.

In the end, letting go of the notion that something should have been can be liberating. It allows you to stop dwelling on what went wrong and start focusing on what could go right. So next time you’re caught in the web of what-ifs, remember: if it was meant to be, it would have already happened. And that's perfectly okay.