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"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others"

Brene Brown
Brene Brown Researcher, Author, Public Speaker
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Quote meaning
Setting boundaries is about showing yourself some love, even if it means you might let others down. It’s like making sure your own needs and feelings are in check, despite what others might expect or want from you. Essentially, it’s about putting yourself first in a healthy way.

Now, think about why someone might need to say this. Imagine a time when people are constantly pulling you in different directions - at work, at home, with friends. You're swamped, and trying to keep everyone happy is just wearing you down. Maybe it was said by someone who's been through that wringer and came out the other side with some wisdom to share. They know firsthand how tough it can be.

Let's dive into a real-life example. Picture this: there's Jane, a dedicated nurse. She loves her job and her patients. Her boss keeps asking her to cover extra shifts because there’s a staff shortage. Jane, being the helpful person she is, keeps saying yes. But she’s sacrificing her weekends and her health is starting to suffer. She’s exhausted, and her family misses her. Finally, Jane decides she needs to set a boundary. She tells her boss she can’t work extra shifts anymore. Her boss isn’t thrilled, but Jane stands firm. She’s disappointed her boss, but she's made a crucial step towards looking after herself.

Here's some advice on putting this into practice in your own life. Start small. If you're always the one to pick up the slack at work, try saying no to one thing this week. Or if a friend keeps asking for favors, politely let them know you’re not available this time. It’s going to feel uncomfortable at first, and that’s normal. But remember, you’re doing this because you value your own wellbeing.

Imagine a scenario: You're a parent, juggling work, house chores, and helping your kids with homework. Every time someone asks for your help or your time, you drop what you're doing and rush to assist. But you’re running on empty. You decide to take a stand. You tell your family that for one hour every evening, you’ll be in your room with the door closed, having some 'you' time. No interruptions unless it’s an emergency. At first, your kids might whine, and your partner might look a bit puzzled. But soon, they start to respect your time. You come out of that hour feeling a bit more recharged. It’s a small change with a big impact.

Setting boundaries is not about being selfish; it's about self-care. It’s about recognizing that you deserve time and space to breathe, to recharge, to look after yourself. It helps you show up better for others when you’re not running on fumes. So next time you’re feeling stretched too thin, think about Jane, or that parent in the scenario. Have the courage to love yourself enough to say no when you need to. It’s okay to disappoint others sometimes if it means you're taking care of your own heart and soul.
Related tags
Authenticity Boundaries Confidence Courage Healthy relationships Mental health Personal growth Self-care Self-love Self-respect
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