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"直到我们能够以开放的心态接受,我们才是真正以开放的心态给予。当我们对接受帮助附带评判时,我们有意或无意地对给予帮助也附带评判。"

Brene Brown
Brene Brown Researcher, Author, Public Speaker
Translations
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Quote meaning
The core idea here is that to truly give selflessly, we need to be able to receive help without judgment. Simple, right? If we judge ourselves for needing help, we’ll unintentionally judge others when we help them. It's a two-way street. Your ability to accept support with grace directly affects the purity of your intentions when you offer support.

So, what's the context behind this? Well, think about our modern society. We're often taught that independence is the ultimate goal. Needing help can be seen as a weakness. This quote is like a gentle nudge, reminding us that accepting help isn't a sign of failure, but an integral part of being human. It’s about creating a cycle of compassion rather than a one-sided act of charity.

Let’s take a vivid example to really drive this home. Imagine a successful businesswoman named Sarah. She's used to being the one who solves problems, both at work and at home. Suddenly, she faces a health crisis and finds herself needing help—physically and emotionally. She struggles to accept this help at first, feeling embarrassed and weak. But when she finally allows herself to receive the support of her friends and family, she notices a shift. The next time she’s in a position to help someone, she does so with a deeper understanding of what it feels like to be vulnerable. Her help is now infused with empathy and a lack of judgment, making her support far more meaningful.

So, how do you apply this wisdom in your life? Start by checking in with yourself when you receive help. Are you feeling guilty or ashamed? If so, try to reframe these feelings. Remind yourself that everyone needs support sometimes. It’s part of the human experience. By accepting help graciously, you’re not just aiding yourself—you’re learning how to give better, too.

Now, picture this scenario: You're a new parent, absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed. Your friend offers to watch your baby for a few hours so you can rest. Your immediate instinct is to refuse—you don’t want to seem like you can’t handle it. But then you remember this concept. You accept your friend’s help with gratitude. Later, when a colleague at work is swamped and you offer to pitch in, there's no part of you that feels superior. You know what it’s like to need help, and you’re simply paying that kindness forward.

In essence, whether you’re the giver or the receiver, it’s all about open-heartedness and dropping the judgment. It’s about accepting that we’re all in this together, and sometimes we’re strong, and sometimes we need support. No shame in that. So next time someone offers you help, take it with an open heart. It’ll make you better at giving when the time comes.
Related tags
Acceptance Compassion Empathy Giving Helping others Judgment Kindness Open heart Receiving Self-awareness
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