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"我们无法选择性地麻木情感;当我们麻木痛苦的情感时,我们也会麻木积极的情感。"

Brene Brown
Brene Brown Researcher, Author, Public Speaker
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Quote meaning
When you try to block out the pain, you also end up blocking out the joy. It’s like wearing emotional earmuffs—everything gets muffled, not just the stuff you don’t want to hear. This idea is at the heart of why we need to face our feelings head-on, even the tough ones.

Think about why this was said. It’s a reminder that emotions are a package deal. You can’t just filter out the sadness, anger, or fear without also dulling your experience of happiness, excitement, and love. This concept has been explored by psychologists and philosophers alike who argue that fully experiencing life means embracing all of it, not just the highlights.

Imagine you’re at a concert and you put in earplugs because the music is too loud. Sure, you avoid the ear-splitting notes, but you also miss out on the beautiful harmonies. A real-life example of this could be someone dealing with grief. Let’s say Jane just lost her mother. The pain is intense, so she starts to avoid anything that reminds her of her mom. She skips family gatherings, stops looking at old photos, and numbs herself with work. On the surface, she thinks she’s protecting herself from hurt. But in doing so, she’s also cutting herself off from the love and happy memories she shared with her mom. Over time, Jane realizes she’s not feeling much of anything at all—no deep sorrow, but also no profound joy.

How can you apply this wisdom in your own life? Start by allowing yourself to feel. It sounds simple, but it’s one of the hardest things to do. When you’re sad, let yourself cry. When you’re angry, find a healthy way to express it. Don’t shy away from these emotions. Instead, recognize them as a vital part of your human experience. You could keep a journal, talk to a friend, or even see a therapist. The goal is to acknowledge and process your feelings rather than bury them.

Imagine a scenario to drive this home. Think of yourself as a sponge. If you soak up some water—representing your emotions—and then squeeze it out because you don’t like how it feels, you’re left dry and brittle. But if you allow yourself to soak up all the experiences, both good and bad, you remain flexible and capable of absorbing new ones.

Consider the story of Sam, a guy who went through a rough breakup. Initially, he decided to ignore his feelings. He threw himself into work, avoided mutual friends, and stayed off social media. But soon, he noticed that even the things he used to love—like playing guitar and hiking—didn’t bring him joy anymore. It wasn’t until he faced his emotions head-on, by talking it out with friends, writing sad songs, and even allowing himself to have a good cry, that he started to feel like himself again. The pain was real, but so was the joy he found on the other side.

So next time you’re tempted to numb out, remember that emotions are like a symphony. You can’t enjoy the crescendos without also hearing the softer, sometimes dissonant notes. Embrace the whole experience, and you’ll lead a richer, fuller life.
Related tags
Emotional balance Emotional health Emotional numbness Emotional pain Emotional well-being Emotions Human experience Mental health Positive emotions Psychology
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