"Ce que vous pensez que les gens vous refusent, c'est ce que vous leur refusez."

What this quote is getting at is pretty simple—it's saying that if you feel like people aren't giving you something you want, whether it's respect, love, or attention, there's a good chance you're not giving it to them either. It's like a mirror; what you see missing from your relationships may be the very thing you're not putting into them.

Think about the times you've felt underappreciated at work, for example. Maybe you think your boss never notices all the extra effort you put in. Now flip the script—how often do you acknowledge your boss's hard work or your team’s? We usually don't think about it that way, but it’s a two-way street.

A perfect example is from the world of marriage. Imagine a couple, let's call them Jane and Mike. Jane feels like Mike never tells her he loves her anymore. But guess what? Jane herself has stopped saying "I love you" to Mike. She’s waiting for him to make the first move. Meanwhile, Mike feels the same way—he’d be more vocal about his love if he felt it coming from Jane. It becomes a standoff where, ironically, both want the same thing.

So how can you actually use this piece of wisdom? Start by giving what you want to receive. It sounds cheesy, but it works. If you want more kindness, be kind. If you want more recognition, start recognizing others. It's about breaking the cycle of waiting and making the first move. You’d be surprised how often people respond in kind.

Imagine yourself at a new job. The office culture feels cold, and no one’s particularly friendly. Instead of waiting for someone to make you feel welcome, you decide to be the welcoming one. You bring cookies one day, greet people with a smile, and ask about their weekends. Slowly but surely, the atmosphere shifts. People start opening up, conversations become a little warmer, and suddenly, you don’t feel like the newbie anymore. You created the environment you wanted by putting it out there first.

Or think of friendships. Have you ever felt like you’re always the one reaching out, making plans, or initiating conversation? It’s frustrating. But stop for a moment and consider—what if your friend feels the same way? Maybe they're waiting for you to show that you really value the friendship. Instead of pulling back, push forward. Tell them how much their friendship means to you, make the plans, and show that effort. You'll often find they start reciprocating.

The takeaway? Don’t sit around waiting for others to give you what you need. Be the one to extend the olive branch, offer the compliment, or show appreciation. It's not just a way to get what you want; it’s a way to build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Sure, it takes a bit of courage and vulnerability, but the payoff is worth it. So next time you feel like something’s missing, ask yourself if you’re withholding it too. Chances are, you have the power to change the dynamic. And that’s pretty empowering, don’t you think?