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"不平を言うことはエゴが自分自身を強化するための好ましい戦略の一つです。"

Eckhart Tolle
Eckhart Tolle Author
Translations
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Quote meaning
Complaining—it's something we all do, and if we're honest, sometimes it feels pretty good in the moment. But have you ever stopped to think about why we complain? This quote suggests that complaining is more than just a bad habit; it's a way our ego, that internal voice that loves to puff itself up, keeps itself strong. When we gripe about something, we're essentially saying, "I deserve better!" It's the ego's way of making sure it stays in control, asserting its importance in our lives.

Historically, this idea has been around for a while. Think of ancient philosophies, like Stoicism, which emphasize focusing on what you can control and letting go of the rest. The Stoics believed that complaining was pointless because it didn't change anything. Instead, it only served to make you more miserable and less effective. This same concept is echoed in modern self-help and mindfulness teachings. When we complain, we’re not just expressing dissatisfaction; we’re reinforcing our sense of self-importance and entitlement.

Let's look at a real-life example to bring this idea into sharper focus. Imagine Sarah, a project manager at a tech company. Every morning, she starts her day by grumbling about the traffic on her commute. She complains to her coworkers about the workload, the tight deadlines, and even the coffee in the break room. Over time, her constant complaining creates a negative atmosphere. Her colleagues start avoiding her, and her boss notices her lack of enthusiasm. Sarah's complaints haven't changed her situation; they've just alienated her from her team and made her job even more stressful.

So, what can we do to apply the wisdom in this quote to our own lives? First, recognize when you're complaining. That’s step one. Pause and ask yourself why you're upset. Is it something you can change? If not, let it go. If it is, take action. Instead of saying, “Ugh, I hate my job,” try thinking, “What can I do to make my job better?” Shifting your mindset from one of helplessness to one of empowerment can make a huge difference.

Here's a relatable scenario to illustrate this concept. Picture yourself at a family gathering. Your uncle starts talking politics, and you feel your blood pressure rising. You could jump in, complain about how misguided his views are, and escalate the situation. Or, you could take a deep breath, recognize that this is your ego wanting to prove it’s right, and choose to steer the conversation in a different direction. Maybe ask about his last trip or his favorite hobby. By not giving in to the urge to complain or argue, you’re not just keeping the peace—you're weakening your ego's grip on you, making room for more meaningful connections.

In the end, it's about awareness and choice. Complaining might give you a momentary sense of superiority or validation, but it doesn’t solve problems. It doesn’t make you happier or more likable. So next time you catch yourself about to complain, stop for a second. Think about what you're really trying to achieve and whether there's a better way to get there. You might find that not only do you strengthen your relationships, but you also become a more positive and resilient person.
Related tags
Ego Emotional intelligence Mindfulness Personal growth Psychology Self-awareness Self-improvement Self-reflection
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