"感情を表すことに対して謝罪してはいけない。それをすると、真実に対して謝罪することになる。"

When someone says never to apologize for showing your feelings, they're encouraging you to embrace your genuine emotions. It's about being true to yourself and not undermining your experiences or reactions. Think about it — when you apologize for your feelings, you’re essentially saying that your truth isn’t valid or acceptable. And how can that be? Your feelings are a part of who you are.

Oscar Wilde, the brilliant mind behind this quote, lived in a time when societal norms were incredibly restrictive, especially around expressing one’s true self. Imagine late 19th-century England, where emotions, particularly from men, were often bottled up and hidden away. Wilde himself was known for challenging these norms and living authentically, even when it was controversial or dangerous. His words remind us that our feelings are an essential part of our identity, not something to be sorry for.

Picture this: you're in a meeting at work, and someone presents an idea that stirs up a lot of enthusiasm in you. You feel excited and inspired, so you speak up passionately. Later, you might feel a twinge of embarrassment — maybe you think you were too loud or too eager. But if you apologize for that, what are you saying? That you should have hidden your excitement? That showing genuine enthusiasm was wrong? No way! Your passion could inspire others or lead to new ideas. Apologizing for it would be like shutting a door on all that potential.

So how do we apply this in our everyday lives? Start by recognizing that your emotions are valid. If you’re sad, excited, angry, or joyful, those feelings are real and important. The next time you feel like apologizing for an emotional reaction, pause and think about why you feel that way. Are you afraid of judgment? Are you worried about making others uncomfortable? Remember, owning your feelings is a form of self-respect.

Let me tell you a quick story. My friend Sarah is an artist. She once shared a deeply personal piece at a gallery opening. It was raw, filled with emotion, and it moved many people. But after some lukewarm reactions, she started apologizing for how emotional the piece was. She felt she had over-shared. But then a woman approached her, eyes glistening with tears, and said, “Thank you for this. Your work made me feel seen.” Sarah’s truth resonated deeply with someone else, precisely because it was unfiltered and genuine.

Imagine you’re at a family gathering, and a topic comes up that hits close to home. Maybe you get emotional and your voice cracks or tears well up in your eyes. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m getting so emotional,” stand firm in your feelings. Say, “This means a lot to me, and it’s hard to talk about.” Authenticity can foster deeper connections and understanding.

In a world that often values stoicism and a stiff upper lip, showing your feelings can be seen as a weakness. But Wilde's wisdom flips that on its head. Your feelings are your truth. They’re what make you human. Don’t apologize for them. Instead, let them be a testament to your authenticity and courage.