"一部の私は承認を得るために一生懸命努力してきたのに、それが誰のためなのかさえもうわからないと感じています"

Ever felt like you’re running on a treadmill, sweating hard but not sure where you’re going? That's what happens when you chase approval so intensely that you lose sight of why you started in the first place. It's like being on a never-ending quest for gold stars, but at some point, you forget who you’re trying to impress.

Historically, this feeling isn't new. Social creatures that we are, humans have always sought validation from others – from cavemen seeking approval within their tribes to the modern-day obsession with social media likes. There's this deep-rooted need to belong and be accepted. But sometimes, that desire for approval can morph into something else entirely, leaving us feeling lost and disconnected from our true selves.

Let me give you a real-life example: Think about a young artist named Sarah. She started painting because it gave her joy and an outlet for her creativity. But as time went on, she began to seek the approval of art critics and gallery owners. She shifted her style to fit what she thought would get her noticed, her vibrant colors muted and her unique flair subdued. Eventually, Sarah found herself staring at a piece she painted and realizing she didn't even recognize her own work anymore.

Now, how can we apply this wisdom in our daily lives? It’s all about reconnecting with your core. Every so often, take a step back and ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. If you find that you’re more focused on external validation than your own satisfaction, it’s time for a recalibration. Set personal goals that are meaningful to you, independent of others’ opinions. Write down what genuinely makes you happy and revisit this list whenever you feel lost.

Imagine this scenario: You’re at a family dinner, and everyone’s discussing their achievements. Your cousin just got a prestigious job, and your brother’s starting his own company. You feel this pressure to have your own impressive story, so you mention the promotion you’re gunning for, even though it means more stress and less time for what you love. But then, later that night, you think: "Why am I doing this?" That’s your cue to check in with yourself.

Here’s some advice – embrace your individuality. Seek approval from yourself first. It’s essential to be your own biggest fan before looking for praise elsewhere. Take the time to reflect on your actions and motivations. Are you doing things because they make you happy or because you think they’ll make someone else happy?

When I was younger, I often joined extracurricular activities not because I enjoyed them, but because I thought they'd look good on my college applications. I ended up spreading myself too thin and, ironically, not excelling in any. It was only when I started focusing on what genuinely interested me – writing and storytelling – that I found a sense of fulfillment and, eventually, success.

So next time you catch yourself striving too hard for that elusive approval, pause. Breathe. Ask yourself who you’re doing it for, and make sure the answer includes you.

Remember, it's your life. Make sure you're living it on your own terms.