"القدرة على أن تكون وحيدًا هي الشرط للقدرة على الحب"

Being comfortable with your own company is crucial for forming meaningful relationships with others. It’s like if you don’t know or like yourself, how can anyone else truly get to know and love you? This idea, while simple, carries a lot of weight.

Let's backtrack a bit. This concept has roots in philosophical and psychological thought. It’s been discussed by thinkers like Erich Fromm, who believed that genuine love involves a deep understanding and acceptance of oneself. Think about it — if you’re constantly seeking validation from others, you may never truly connect because you’re not bringing your real, whole self into the relationship.

Take, for example, the real-life scenario of someone who jumps from one relationship to another without pause. Jane, let's call her, is always with someone. She’s never alone, and while she’s got plenty of company, she’s never had the chance to face herself. When one relationship ends, she dives straight into the next, never stopping to think about what she wants or who she is outside of a partnership. This constant cycle means she’s never fully herself; she’s always trying to mold into what she thinks her partner wants. It’s exhausting and ultimately unsustainable.

On the flip side, imagine someone who takes time to be alone — let’s say, John. After a tough breakup, he doesn’t rush into another relationship. Instead, he spends time figuring out his passions, his dislikes, and what makes him tick. He travels solo, picks up new hobbies, and learns to enjoy his own company. When John finally feels ready to date again, he knows what he brings to the table and what he’s looking for in a partner. He’s not desperate for validation, and he’s secure in who he is. This self-assuredness is attractive and lays the groundwork for a healthy, loving relationship.

So, how can you apply this in your life? Start by carving out alone time in your schedule. It doesn’t need to be extravagant. It could be a quiet morning coffee by yourself, a solo hike, or even a weekend without social plans. Use this time to reflect, journal, or simply be. Get to know yourself. What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? Your dreams? Understanding these things about yourself means you’re not looking for someone else to fill gaps in your identity — you’re looking for someone to share your completeness with.

Imagine a scenario where you’re at a party, and you see someone who’s comfortable in their own skin. They’re not clinging to anyone or desperately seeking attention. They’re genuinely enjoying themselves, chatting with different people, and maybe even spending a few moments alone, just soaking in the atmosphere. That’s the vibe of someone who’s at peace with being alone. They’re magnetic because they’re whole on their own.

In a nutshell, embracing solitude isn’t about being a loner. It’s about building a strong foundation of self-understanding and self-love. From that solid base, you can form relationships that are not about filling a void but about enhancing an already full life. So next time you find yourself alone, don’t rush to fill the silence. Sit with it, embrace it, and let it help you grow.