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"مردم آنچه را که می‌خواهند به دست نمی‌آورند یا اگر آن را به دست آورند احساس نارضایتی می‌کنند"

Erich Fromm
Erich Fromm Psychoanalyst
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Quote meaning
The essence of this idea revolves around the complex nature of human desire and satisfaction. We often think that getting what we want will make us happy, but reality is trickier. Sometimes, we don't get what we want and feel frustrated. Other times, we achieve our goals only to find the joy doesn't last. It's a double-edged sword that cuts through our expectations.

This quote echoes a sentiment that has been relevant throughout history. Think about the ancient Greeks. Philosophers like Socrates and Plato often discussed the pursuit of happiness and how it relates to human desires. They suggested that true happiness isn't about getting what we want but about wanting what we have. Fast forward to modern times, and you'll see the same idea in the form of "hedonic adaptation" — the concept that people quickly return to a baseline level of happiness regardless of positive or negative events.

Now, let’s dive into a practical example. Imagine you’re striving for that big promotion at work. You push yourself, sacrificing weekends and personal time, all for the dream of a better title and a bigger paycheck. Finally, you get it. There’s a burst of excitement — a feeling of achievement. But a few months in, the thrill fades. The new responsibilities start weighing on you, and you might even find yourself longing for the simplicity of your old job. The happiness you expected doesn't last. This is a classic case of getting what you want and still feeling unhappy.

So, what can we do with this wisdom? First, it helps to set realistic expectations. Understand that achieving your goals might not bring the lasting happiness you imagine. Second, focus on the journey, not just the destination. Find joy in the process rather than pinning all your hopes on the end result. Third, practice gratitude. Appreciate what you have now, rather than constantly chasing after what’s next.

Let’s bring this to life with a story. Picture Sarah, an avid runner. She dreams of completing a marathon. For months, she trains tirelessly, visualizing the finish line. Race day comes, and she crosses that line — a wave of elation washes over her. But soon after, there’s a void. What now? The goal she’d obsessed over is done, and she feels a bit lost.

However, Sarah decides to shift her focus. She starts running not just for races, but for the simple joy of it. Morning runs become her meditative time. She joins a local group, making new friends. The act of running becomes rewarding in itself, not just a means to an end. Sarah learns to appreciate the steps she’s taking, literally and metaphorically, rather than just the finish lines.

In essence, the takeaway here is simple: while it’s natural to have desires and goals, pinning all our happiness on achieving them can be a recipe for dissatisfaction. Instead, let’s learn to value the journey and cherish the present. That balance — dreaming of the future while loving the now — might just be the secret to feeling genuinely content. So next time you find yourself chasing after something, take a moment to enjoy where you are. You might find you already have a lot of what you need to be happy.
Related tags
Contentment Desire Discontent Dissatisfaction Emotional well-being Expectations Fulfillment Happiness Human behavior Human nature Life truths Psychology Satisfaction Self-fulfillment
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