"Hoy, recurrimos a una persona para proporcionar lo que una vez proporcionaba todo un pueblo: una sensación de arraigo, significado y continuidad."

Think about your grandparents’ time. Back then, a village was more than just a cluster of houses. It was a tight-knit community where everyone knew each other. People leaned on each other for emotional support, practical help, and wisdom. Fast forward to today, and things look a bit different. We often expect one person — usually our partner — to fulfill all the roles that a whole village once did. That’s asking a lot, don’t you think?

This idea speaks to a shift in how we build and maintain our emotional and social lives. In the past, families and communities provided a web of support. Aunties, uncles, neighbors, and friends formed a safety net. Today, that safety net seems to have shrunk to a single thread. We expect our significant other or maybe a close friend to be our confidant, cheerleader, advisor, and more. It's a lot of pressure for one person.

Consider the historical context. In many traditional societies, the village played a crucial role in daily life. People worked together, celebrated together, and grieved together. There was a shared understanding that everyone had a role to play. Fast forward to the modern day, and many of us live far away from our extended families. Our social interactions are often fleeting, and deep connections can be rare. This shift has led us to place immense expectations on those closest to us.

Let’s bring this to life with a real example. Imagine a couple, Sarah and John. They love each other deeply. But Sarah expects John to be everything for her — her best friend, her therapist, her adventure buddy, her career coach. It’s overwhelming for John. He tries his best, but sometimes he feels like he’s failing. And Sarah? She often feels let down, not because John doesn’t love her, but because no one person can fulfill all those roles perfectly. This dynamic can strain their relationship.

So, how do we apply this wisdom? First, recognize that it’s okay to lean on different people for different needs. Build a diverse support system. Reach out to friends, family, and even professional counselors. Join clubs or groups that interest you. Don’t expect one person to be your everything.

Here’s a relatable story. Picture this: Emily moved to a new city for work. She didn’t know anyone and felt incredibly lonely. She relied heavily on her boyfriend, Mike. But he was miles away and couldn’t be there all the time. Emily decided to join a local book club. She met people who shared her love for reading. She also took up a cooking class where she made new friends. Over time, Emily built a network of people she could turn to, and she felt more grounded and connected. She and Mike’s relationship improved because the pressure was off. They could simply enjoy each other’s company without the weight of unmet expectations.

In a world where we're often isolated, it's crucial to remember that it’s okay — even necessary — to spread our needs across a community. It’s healthier for us and fairer for our loved ones. So next time you feel overwhelmed or let down, think about who else you can turn to. Maybe it's a friend, a family member, or even a new acquaintance. The village might look different now, but its essence can still thrive.