Get Started
Home Authors Tags

"Nous recherchons la réassurance de l'amour, mais désirons ardemment l'excitation du désir."

Esther Perel
Esther Perel Psychotherapist
Translations
🇺🇸 English 🇨🇳 中文 🇪🇸 Español 🇪🇬 العربية 🇫🇷 Français 🇮🇷 فارسی 🇯🇵 日本語
Quote meaning
At the heart of this quote is the idea that as humans, we have a complex relationship with love and desire. Love gives us a sense of security and comfort. It's like that cozy blanket that makes us feel safe and understood. Desire, on the other hand, is thrilling and unpredictable, like a wild roller coaster ride that churns our hearts and keeps us wanting more. We're constantly navigating between these two feelings, trying to find a balance.

Historically, this tension between love and desire has been a recurring theme in literature, art, and philosophy. Think about Shakespeare's plays, where characters often face intense inner struggles between stable love and fiery passion. This dilemma isn't confined to any particular era; it's a timeless aspect of the human condition. Think about it: we all want to be loved and cherished, but we also crave that electric connection that desire brings.

Take the example of a long-term relationship. Imagine you're with someone for years. You have built a home together, share responsibilities, and know each other inside out. That's love — it's steady, dependable, and deeply rooted. But sometimes, you might miss that spark you felt when you first met — those butterflies, the thrill of the unknown. That's desire. Picture a couple who decides to spice things up by revisiting the places they went on their first dates. They bring back that sense of adventure and newness to rekindle the excitement.

If you're looking to apply this idea in your life, it's all about finding that sweet spot between comfort and excitement. Don't let your relationships become too predictable. Plan surprises, try new activities together, and keep discovering new things about each other. It's these little efforts that keep the flame alive. Remember, love doesn't have to be boring, and desire doesn't have to be fleeting.

Let me tell you a story. Imagine Sarah and Tom. They've been married for ten years. Their daily routine is pretty much set: wake up, go to work, dinner at 7, TV, and bed. They've got love in spades, but sometimes, they miss the excitement they used to have. One day, Tom surprises Sarah with a weekend getaway to a place they've never been. They go hiking, explore new restaurants, and even get a little lost. It's a break from their routine, and it reignites their connection.

This balance between love and desire isn't just for romantic relationships. Think about your passions and hobbies. You might love painting because it's familiar and calming, but sometimes, trying a completely new art form, like sculpting, can bring that rush of excitement. It’s about keeping things fresh and not falling into a monotony that dulls your senses.

So, next time you find yourself in a comfortable yet uneventful routine, shake things up a bit. Plan a spontaneous trip, pick up a new hobby, or simply do something unexpected. You'll find that this blend of love and desire creates a richer, more fulfilling experience.
Related tags
Craving Desire Excitement Human emotions Love Passion Reassurance Relationships Romance Yearning
MORE QUOTES BY Esther Perel
FEATURED QUOTES
Surprise me with another quote
Instagram Icon Facebook Icon X Icon Threads Icon