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"子供が退屈であればあるほど、親が子供を見せびらかすとき、良い親であることの称賛を受ける。その理由は、彼らの家に飼いならされた子供がいるからです。"

Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa Musician
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Quote meaning
Here's what that quote boils down to: kids who come across as boring or obedient often make their parents look good. People tend to praise parents for having well-behaved kids because society equates a child's behavior with good parenting.

Now, let's dive in. Historically, this perspective isn’t new. It probably stems from long-standing societal norms that value obedience and conformity. Think about the 1950s, a period often romanticized for its orderly family structures and well-behaved children. During that time, a child who didn’t rock the boat was seen as a model kid, and by extension, their parents were seen as model parents. That idea stuck around and still influences how we view parenting today.

Let me give you a real-life example. Picture a family gathering. There’s always that one kid who sits quietly, doesn’t make a fuss, and says “please” and “thank you” without being reminded. Everyone praises the parents: “You’ve done such a great job with her!” Meanwhile, there’s another kid running around, full of energy and curiosity. The second kid’s parents? They might get a few sympathetic nods, but you won’t hear the same level of praise. It’s as if the first kid’s calm demeanor is a direct reflection of superior parenting skills, while the second kid’s liveliness is seen as a sign of parental failure.

So, how can you use this wisdom in your own life? First, recognize that a quiet child doesn’t necessarily mean a happy or fulfilled child. It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to look good in front of others. But think about what’s really best for your child. Encourage them to be curious, to explore, to be themselves—even if that means they aren’t always the most well-behaved. It’s about raising a child who is authentic and true to themselves, not just someone who makes you look good.

Imagine this scenario: You’re at a school play. Your kid is on stage, participating with gusto, but maybe not following the script perfectly. Instead of feeling embarrassed, you beam with pride because they’re putting their heart into it. After the play, some parents might come up and comment about how disciplined their own kids were. You just smile, knowing that your child’s enthusiasm and creativity are what truly matter.

In short, don't buy into the illusion that a well-behaved child is the ultimate badge of good parenting. Kids are meant to be lively, curious, and yes, sometimes a bit chaotic. It’s all part of growing up. Celebrate the unique spark in your child—nurture it, don’t stifle it. Because at the end of the day, raising a kid who’s true to themselves is far more rewarding than any fleeting praise you might get for having a “tame child-creature” at home.
Related tags
Child behavior Childhood Family dynamics Obedience Parenting Social perception
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