"Mentirnos a nosotros mismos está más profundamente arraigado que mentir a los demás."

It's funny, isn’t it, how we can be our own worst enemies? The quote brings up a truth many of us avoid: the lies we tell ourselves are often the ones we cling to the hardest. Think about it. We’ve all done it—whether it’s convincing ourselves we’re happy in a job we secretly despise, or telling ourselves we don’t care about someone’s approval when we actually crave it desperately. The core idea here is that self-deception runs deeper than the lies we tell others.

Historically speaking, this notion has been recognized for a long time. Philosophers like Friedrich Nietzsche and even ancient Greek thinkers like Socrates have touched upon the idea of self-deception. They believed that the hardest lies to uncover are the ones we tell ourselves. Why? Because they’re comfortable. They protect our ego and shield us from truths that might hurt us.

Imagine a friend who’s always talking about how satisfied they are with their relationship. They post cute photos, share lovey-dovey posts, but when you catch a real moment, there’s tension and discomfort. They’re convincing themselves everything's perfect because facing the issues feels too daunting. Deep down, they know the truth, but admitting it would mean dealing with it. And that’s scary.

How can we apply this wisdom in our own lives? Start by being brutally honest with yourself. It’s easier said than done. But next time you find yourself making excuses, pause. Ask yourself, “Is this really true? Or am I just saying it to feel better?” Reflect on your motivations and feelings. Journaling can help—write down your thoughts and review them later to see if they still hold up. Therapy or talking with a trusted friend who’ll call you out can also be invaluable.

Let’s visualize this with a relatable scenario. Imagine you’re stuck in a job that drains you. You tell yourself it’s for financial security, but every Sunday night, your stomach churns with dread. You’re irritable and unhappy. Deep down, you know you need a change, but the idea of job hunting is overwhelming. So you keep lying to yourself, saying it’s not that bad. One day, a friend points out how much you’ve changed—how your spark is gone. It’s a wake-up call, and you realize you’ve been lying to yourself for years out of fear. You finally decide to look for new opportunities, and though it's tough at first, you find a job that’s fulfilling. Your whole demeanor changes, and you feel alive again.

We all have blind spots. But if you make a conscious effort to shine a light on them, you’re halfway to breaking the cycle of self-deception. Be kind to yourself during this process. Acknowledge it’s human to want to avoid discomfort, but remember that facing the truth is the first step to living authentically and fully. And next time you find yourself saying, “I’m fine,” take a moment to question it—because the hardest lies to untangle are the ones we tell ourselves.