"ليس لماذا الإدمان ولكن لماذا الألم"

The core idea here is about shifting our focus. Instead of asking why someone is addicted — be it to drugs, alcohol, food, or even work — we should be asking about the underlying pain that drives them to seek solace in their addiction. It’s about understanding that addiction isn't the root problem; it's a symptom of something deeper, something painful.

This concept gained traction partly because of the work of Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned addiction expert. Maté's experience working with drug addicts in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside — one of the most notorious neighborhoods for substance abuse — highlighted a common thread among those struggling: trauma and unresolved pain. He argued that addiction often stems from a need to escape or numb that pain, not just a lack of willpower or moral failing.

Let’s put this idea into a real-world setting. Consider a man named John. John is successful in his career, has a loving family, and seems to have it all together. But every night, he finds himself drinking a few too many glasses of whiskey. If you ask, "Why the addiction?" you might focus on his relationship with alcohol alone. But if you ask, "Why the pain?" you might uncover that John lost his brother in a car accident many years ago, and he’s never really processed that grief. The alcohol is a way to numb the lingering sadness and guilt that he feels he's buried deep inside.

So, how can you apply this wisdom to your life or when helping someone else? Next time you or someone you care about is grappling with an addiction, try to dig deeper. Instead of focusing on the addictive behavior, try to understand what pain might be driving it. This isn’t about excusing the behavior — it’s about addressing the root cause to enable healing.

Imagine you’re chatting with a friend who’s been eating a lot of junk food lately. Your first instinct might be to suggest a diet or exercise plan. But remember the quote. Stop and think: what's really going on? Maybe she's stressed because of work, or she's feeling lonely after a recent breakup. By addressing her emotional wellbeing and finding healthier ways to cope, you might help her tackle the core issue that’s driving her to overeat.

In a relatable scenario, think about Sarah — a high school student who’s been skipping classes and seems disengaged. Teachers might label her as lazy or unmotivated. But if someone took the time to explore why she’s disengaging, they might find out she’s dealing with her parents’ recent divorce. She feels abandoned and is using avoidance as a coping mechanism. By addressing her emotional turmoil, she might be guided towards healthier coping strategies, like talking to a counselor or engaging in activities that make her feel connected and valued.

Remember, when we shift our focus from the addiction to the pain, we open up the possibility for genuine healing. It’s not a magic fix, but it’s a compassionate start. And sometimes, that’s all someone needs — a start.