Get Started
Home Authors Tags

"The attempt to escape from pain is what creates more pain"

Gabor Mate
Gabor Mate Physician
Translations
🇺🇸 English 🇨🇳 中文 🇪🇸 Español 🇪🇬 العربية 🇫🇷 Français 🇮🇷 فارسی 🇯🇵 日本語
Quote meaning
Trying to avoid pain often causes us even more suffering. This idea is pretty straightforward: when we run from our discomfort, we usually end up making things worse for ourselves. Imagine you're trying to ignore a toothache because you're scared of the dentist. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. Eventually, you might need a more serious procedure than if you'd just faced the initial pain.

This concept isn't new. It’s been around for ages, especially in philosophies like Buddhism and Stoicism. These thinkers taught that accepting pain, rather than avoiding it, is key to a peaceful life. They believed that our efforts to dodge discomfort only tighten its grip on us. Think back to the ancient Stoics—folks like Marcus Aurelius and Seneca. They preached the idea of embracing pain, seeing it as a teacher rather than an enemy.

Now, let's get practical. Picture someone who’s heartbroken after a tough breakup. Instead of dealing with their emotions, they dive into work, party every night, or endlessly scroll through social media. They're trying to escape the pain, right? But in doing so, they never really heal. They might even end up feeling more empty and lost. Compare that to someone who faces their grief head-on—crying, talking to friends, maybe even seeing a therapist. It hurts, but it's a path towards genuine healing.

So, what’s the takeaway? Don’t shy away from pain. Next time you’re faced with something tough, pause. Reflect on it. Ask yourself what you’re really feeling. Is it fear? Sadness? Anger? Identifying the root can help you deal with it more effectively. And remember, it's okay to seek help. Whether it’s from friends, family, or professionals, getting support can make a world of difference.

Imagine yourself in a job that you hate. Every day feels like a slog, but you’re terrified to leave because, well, what if you can’t find something better? Instead of facing that fear and exploring your options, you stay put. You endure more and more stress, maybe even burnout. But if you’d confronted the discomfort early on, maybe talked to a career counselor or started applying to new positions, you could have found a way out that didn’t involve so much suffering.

Let me share a quick story. A friend of mine, let’s call her Sarah, was terrified of public speaking. She’d do anything to avoid it. But then she got a job where presenting was part of the gig. She couldn’t escape it anymore. So, she decided to face the fear head-on. She joined a local Toastmasters club, practicing speeches in a supportive environment. It was painful at first, no doubt. She stumbled over words, her hands shook—but over time, she got better. She didn’t just become a competent speaker; she became confident. By embracing the initial pain, she found strength she didn’t know she had.

In the end, remember that pain is part of life. It shapes us, makes us stronger, and helps us grow. Next time you’re faced with it, don’t run. Confront it. Learn from it. You might just find that the thing you feared the most was the key to something better.
Related tags
Emotional pain Escape Healing Mental health Mindfulness Pain Psychology Resilience Self-awareness Suffering
MORE QUOTES BY Gabor Mate
FEATURED QUOTES
Surprise me with another quote
Instagram Icon Facebook Icon X Icon Threads Icon