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"Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves"

Gabor Mate
Gabor Mate Physician
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Quote meaning
The core idea here is pretty straightforward: to genuinely care for others, we first need to take care of ourselves. Think about it like this—if you're running on empty, you don't have much to give to anyone else. It's like how flight attendants always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. Only when you're okay can you truly be there for those around you.

Historically, this kind of thinking has roots in various philosophies and religions. Buddhism, for instance, emphasizes self-compassion as a step towards loving-kindness for all beings. It's not just ancient history, though. In the modern world, the idea is getting a lot of attention in psychology and self-help circles. Ever heard of self-compassion studies by Dr. Kristin Neff? She’s one of the leading researchers showing how being kind to ourselves reduces stress and increases our ability to connect with others.

Let’s take a real-life example: Imagine you're a nurse. Your job is all about helping people—administering medications, comforting patients, dealing with emergencies. It’s incredibly rewarding but also demanding. Now, if you don't take breaks, eat well, and get enough sleep, you’ll burn out. You’ll become irritable, make mistakes, or even get sick yourself. But if you prioritize your well-being, you’re more patient, attentive, and effective in your role. You can offer genuine empathy and care because you’re not running on fumes.

So, how can you apply this wisdom? Start by carving out some time for yourself. It doesn’t have to be hours—just 15 minutes a day to do something that recharges you. Maybe it's a walk, reading a book, or just sitting quietly with a cup of tea. Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s the opposite. By looking after yourself, you’re ensuring that you can be the best version of yourself for others.

Imagine this: You’re a parent juggling work, house chores, and taking care of your kids. It’s a lot. You feel like you're constantly on the go, and your patience is wearing thin. One day, you decide to set your alarm 20 minutes earlier. That quiet time in the morning becomes your sanctuary. You stretch, maybe meditate, and breathe deeply. That small act of kindness to yourself makes a world of difference. You find that you’re more centered, more patient with your kids when they refuse to put on their shoes for the tenth time. You listen more, snap less. Your mornings aren't a chaotic rush but a series of moments where you connect with your kids while still feeling like you have a piece of yourself intact.

In the end, it’s about balance. You don’t need to go on a month-long retreat to practice self-care. It’s the small, consistent acts of kindness to yourself that build up your reserves, making you more resilient and more capable of showing compassion to others. When you’re kind to yourself, you create a foundation of well-being that enables you to be there—truly be there—for the people who need you. And that, my friend, makes all the difference.
Related tags
Compassion Empathy Inner peace Kindness Mental health Personal growth Self-care Self-compassion Well-being
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