"L'essence du traumatisme émotionnel est une déconnexion de soi."

Emotional trauma cuts deep, doesn't it? At its core, it creates this massive gap between you and your own sense of self. It's like your inner compass just goes haywire. You know that feeling when you're in a room full of people, but still feel completely alone? That’s what we’re talking about here.

This concept really came into the limelight with the work of trauma experts like Dr. Gabor Maté. He’s a Canadian doctor who’s done a lot of work with addiction and stress, and he’s seen firsthand how trauma twists people inside out. He argues that when we experience emotional trauma, we lose touch with who we are because we're so busy trying to survive whatever's happening to us. Our authentic self takes a backseat, and in its place, we put up defenses—masks, if you will—to cope.

Imagine this: Think about a child who constantly faces criticism from their parents. Over time, they might start believing they’re not good enough. They’ll try to adapt by being overly agreeable or by withdrawing into themselves, just to avoid more negative feedback. Eventually, they forget what they genuinely like or want because they’re so busy pleasing others. That’s disconnection from self in action.

Take Sarah, a 32-year-old graphic designer, for example. Sarah had a tough childhood with emotionally unavailable parents. As a result, she's constantly battling feelings of worthlessness. She works hard, often to her own detriment, and finds it difficult to set boundaries. On the outside, she’s got it all together—great job, lovely apartment, lots of friends. But inside, she feels disconnected and adrift because she’s not living her life for herself; she’s living it to avoid the abandonment she felt as a kid.

So, how do you reconnect? Start by giving yourself permission to feel. Seriously, it’s okay to be angry, sad, or scared. These emotions are your internal GPS trying to guide you back to what you truly need. Journaling can help—you’d be surprised at what comes out when you just let yourself write without judgment. Therapy is also a great space to explore these feelings and start piecing yourself back together.

Here’s a little exercise: Next time you’re alone, try sitting quietly for a few minutes. Close your eyes and just focus on your breath. When your mind starts to wander (and it will), gently bring it back. This kind of mindful practice can help you start to tune into your inner world. It might feel weird or uncomfortable at first, but stick with it. You’re reintroducing yourself to… well, yourself.

Let’s paint a picture. Picture yourself at a coffee shop, savoring a latte. You’re watching the world go by, and for once, you’re not glued to your phone. You notice the little details—the sound of the barista’s laughter, the smell of fresh pastries. In that moment, you’re fully present. You’re not worrying about the past or the future. You’re just being you. That’s the goal: finding those moments where you feel grounded and connected to who you are.

So next time you catch yourself feeling lost or overwhelmed, remember that it’s okay. You’re on a journey back to yourself. The road might be bumpy, but with each step, you’re getting closer to that sense of inner peace and authenticity. And isn’t that worth the effort?