"Lecteur la mémoire vous fait inévitablement défaut."

Memory is a fickle thing. We think we remember events clearly, but often, those memories are distorted, incomplete, or just plain wrong. It’s like trying to hold water in your hands—some of it always slips through your fingers, no matter how tightly you grasp. Our brains are wired to forget, to alter, to mix up details over time.

This idea might seem obvious, but how often do you find yourself arguing with a friend about something that happened last year, each of you swearing you’re right? It’s not intentional, it’s just human nature. Our minds aren’t perfect recording devices.

Take, for instance, the famous example of eyewitness testimonies in criminal cases. You’d think that if you saw something as dramatic as a crime happening right in front of you, you’d remember every detail perfectly. But countless studies have shown that’s not the case. Witnesses often remember things differently, and their recollections can be influenced by stress, the way questions are asked, and even their own biases. It’s no wonder that wrongful convictions based on faulty testimony have happened.

When thinking about how to apply this understanding in your own life, consider how you approach disagreements or conflicts. When you’re arguing about who said what or who did this or that, remind yourself that your memory isn’t infallible. It’s okay to acknowledge that you might not remember everything perfectly—just as the other person might not, either. It’s a good practice to listen, to be open to the idea that your recollection might be flawed.

Imagine you’re at work, and a project deadline gets missed. Your boss is upset, your team is pointing fingers, and everyone’s memories of what was supposed to happen don’t quite match up. Instead of digging in your heels and insisting you remember everything exactly right, what if you took a step back? What if you acknowledged that maybe, just maybe, your memory isn’t perfect? Suggest looking at emails, notes, or any other records to piece together what really happened. You’re likely to get a clearer picture and resolve the situation faster. Plus, you’ll probably earn some respect for being level-headed and fair.

Here’s a story to bring the point home. Think about two friends, Sarah and Jane. They’ve been friends since college and have shared countless experiences together. One day, they start reminiscing about a road trip they took years ago. Sarah remembers a hilarious incident with a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, while Jane vividly recalls it being a dead car battery. They both laugh, but neither can shake the feeling that the other is wrong. They dig up old photos and finally find a picture of them standing next to a car with the hood up—dead battery. Sarah’s sure she remembered it correctly, but the evidence says otherwise. They laugh it off, realizing that the exact details don’t matter as much as the fun they had and the bond they share.

So next time you’re sure you’ve got the facts right, take a breath. Consider the possibility that your memory, like everyone else's, might be playing tricks on you. Embrace the uncertainty. You might just find that letting go of the need to be right all the time leads to less stress and stronger relationships.