"علت اصلی بی نظمی در خودمان جستجوی واقعیتی است که توسط دیگری وعده داده شده است"

When you think about it, a lot of the chaos inside us comes from chasing after someone else’s idea of what’s real or important. It’s like trying to fit into a mold that wasn’t made for you — no wonder it feels uncomfortable. Let’s break it down a bit more.

The heart of this idea is that we often look to others to define what’s true or meaningful in life, instead of figuring it out for ourselves. This can create a lot of internal conflict because what’s true for someone else might not resonate with us. Imagine trying to wear someone else’s shoes that are a size too small or too big. It’s never going to be a good fit, right?

Historically, this notion has been around for ages. Think of all the times in history when people were told what to believe, from religious doctrines to societal norms. Back in the day, if you didn’t go along with the crowd, you were labeled an outcast. But even today, we’re bombarded with messages from social media, advertising, and even our well-meaning friends and family about what we should strive for — success, beauty, happiness.

Here’s a real-life example: Picture a college student who’s always been told by their parents that becoming a doctor is the ultimate goal. They dive into pre-med classes, but deep down, they feel drawn to art. They love painting, it makes them come alive, but they push those feelings aside because they’ve internalized the belief that success equals a medical degree. The result? They’re stressed, unhappy, and feel like a failure — all because they’re chasing someone else’s dream.

So, how do you apply this wisdom? Start by tuning into your own desires and beliefs. It sounds simple, but it takes work. Spend time reflecting on what makes you feel fulfilled, not just what you think you should be doing. Journaling can help, or talking it out with a friend who’s good at listening without judgment. Give yourself permission to let go of the expectations others have set for you.

Now, let’s ground this in a relatable scenario. Imagine you’ve always been told that traveling the world is the pinnacle of a rich life experience. You see friends' Instagram posts from exotic locations and feel a pang of jealousy because you’ve never had that urge. You prefer cozy nights at home with a good book and your cat. But you start saving for trips, planning vacations you don’t really want, just to fit in. It’s exhausting and doesn’t bring you joy. One day, you decide to own your truth. You cancel the trip to Bali and instead, create a reading nook in your home. You spend weekends there, lost in novels, feeling more content than you ever did while planning those trips. Suddenly, the disorder you felt from trying to live someone else’s dream starts to fade.

Remember, it’s your life. You don’t have to seek out someone else’s version of reality. It’s about finding what’s real for you. And once you do, the chaos inside you starts to settle, and you can finally breathe a little easier.