"需要的不是逃避控制或压制或者任何其他的抵抗而是理解恐惧"

Facing our fears head-on with understanding is more beneficial than trying to escape, control, or suppress them. This idea is at the heart of the quote. It suggests that instead of avoiding fear, we should seek to understand it.

Think about when this might have been said. Often, people talk about fear in the context of personal growth, self-improvement, or therapy. This quote could easily come from a psychologist, a motivational speaker, or even a wise friend. They might have said it during a moment when someone was struggling with anxiety, feeling stuck, or facing a big life change. Fear is a universal experience, and how we deal with it can shape our lives in significant ways.

Now, let’s paint a real-life picture to make this clearer. Imagine someone terrified of public speaking. Every time they’re asked to give a presentation, they feel their heart race, palms sweat, and their mind goes blank. They might try to avoid these situations, control their environment to ensure they’re never put on the spot, or suppress their nervousness by distracting themselves. But what if, instead, they tried to understand their fear? They might discover that their fear stems from a deeper concern about being judged or making mistakes. By recognizing this, they could work on these underlying issues—perhaps seeking feedback from trusted friends or practicing in safe environments. Over time, their fear could diminish because they’ve addressed the root cause, not just the symptoms.

So how can you apply this wisdom in your own life? Start by acknowledging your fear. Don’t push it away or pretend it doesn’t exist. Ask yourself what you’re really afraid of and why. Write it down if it helps. Talk to someone you trust about it. Understanding your fear is the first step in overcoming it. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can start to address it constructively. Maybe that means exposure therapy, where you gradually face your fear in manageable steps. Maybe it means seeking professional help or support groups. The key is not to run away—but to lean in.

Let’s get a bit more personal. Picture a friend named Alex. Alex is incredibly talented at their job but has a paralyzing fear of failure. Every time they get a new project, they agonize over every detail, double- and triple-checking their work to the point of exhaustion. They’re terrified of making a mistake and either avoid taking on big challenges or work themselves into burnout. One day, Alex decides to tackle this differently. They start by journaling about their fear, trying to understand its roots. They realize it goes back to a critic in their past who made them feel incompetent. With this insight, Alex begins to challenge these old beliefs and sets more realistic expectations for themselves. They start to take on projects with a more balanced approach, understanding that mistakes are part of growth. Over time, they find a new confidence and a healthier way to approach their work.

In essence, understanding fear transforms it from a barrier into a stepping stone. It’s not about eliminating fear entirely—that’s probably unrealistic. It’s about changing our relationship with it. So next time you feel that familiar grip of fear, don’t run. Get curious. Dive deeper. You might discover that the monster under the bed is just a shadow, after all.