"Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you"

Grief, rather than altering who you are, unveils your true self. It's like peeling back layers to show the core of a person. When Hazel hears this, it’s about understanding that the sorrow she’s feeling isn't transforming her into someone else. It's showcasing her real character, her deepest emotions, and her genuine reactions.

Let’s rewind a bit to grasp the context. This line comes from John Green’s novel "The Fault in Our Stars," a story about teenagers dealing with cancer. In this scene, the character is navigating through the heavy waters of loss and pain, trying to make sense of it all. The phrase is meant to offer clarity — grief isn't changing you into someone new; it's just revealing what's already within.

Now, imagine a time when you’ve faced grief. Think about losing a loved one, a job, or even a cherished dream. When that happens, you don't become a different person. Instead, your true self comes forward. You might find strength you never knew you had or discover a vulnerability you always hid. For example, a friend of mine lost her father unexpectedly. She was always the life of the party, the one who held everyone together with her bubbly personality. Through her grief, though, she revealed depths of empathy and resilience that were astonishing. She didn't change; she just showed us sides of herself we hadn't seen before.

So, how can you apply this? When you're in the throes of grief, don’t fight it. Allow yourself to feel and understand that these feelings are part of you. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to discover new strengths. Journaling can help here. Write down what you’re experiencing. You might be surprised at the insights that emerge. Talk to friends or a therapist. They can reflect back to you the parts of yourself that are coming to light.

Let me share a personal story. I remember a time when I lost a close friend. I was devastated. I thought I couldn’t handle the pain. But in those dark moments, I found myself comforting others, organizing memorials, and speaking words of encouragement. It was revealing. I hadn't known I had that capacity for leadership and compassion. It didn’t change me into someone else — it showed me more of who I already was.

So next time you’re grappling with grief, don’t see it as a force that’s morphing you into something unrecognizable. Instead, recognize it as a mirror, reflecting the most authentic parts of you. Embrace what you see. It’s a part of your journey, part of who you are. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help. We all need a hand sometimes, and reaching out doesn’t make you weak — it shows your humanity.

Life is a series of experiences that reveal and shape us. Grief, intense as it is, is one of those experiences. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s revealing. Just like Hazel learned, you’ll find your true self in those tender moments. And that, my friend, is a powerful thing.