"La mejor manera de obtener aprobación es no necesitarla."

Approval can be a powerful motivator in our lives, but the moment we stop craving it, we unlock a different kind of power. The core idea here is that when you don’t need others to approve of what you’re doing or who you are, you become truly free. You make decisions based on your values and desires, not on the fluctuating opinions of those around you. This means you begin to live more authentically and find confidence from within.

Historically, this idea has been echoed by many influential figures. For instance, philosophers like Marcus Aurelius and Socrates often spoke about the importance of inner integrity over external validation. In a modern context, think of a time when social media didn't dominate our lives. People weren't constantly exposed to the curated lives of others, and thus, were less likely to seek external approval at every turn.

Let’s get practical. Imagine you’re an artist. You pour your heart into your work, but you find yourself constantly wondering if others will like it. This loop of seeking approval can stifle creativity and lead to burnout. But what if you create just for the sake of creating? What if your satisfaction comes from the act itself, not from the applause it may or may not receive? I once knew a painter who struggled with this. She’d post her work online, refreshing her feed to see how many likes it got. One day, she decided to take a break from social media. She spent months creating art that she never showed anyone. The result? Her work became bolder, more personal, and truly unique. When she eventually shared it, the response was overwhelmingly positive, but by then, she didn’t need that validation—she was already proud of what she’d created.

So, how do you apply this wisdom to your own life? Start by identifying the areas where you’re most seeking approval. Is it at work, in your relationships, or perhaps in your hobbies? Then, make a conscious effort to shift your focus. Set personal goals that matter to you, not because they’ll impress others. Celebrate your achievements privately. Remember, the people who matter will respect you more for staying true to yourself.

Here’s a relatable scenario: think about a high school student named Alex. Alex is desperate to fit in with the popular kids, so he starts dressing like them, talking like them, even pretending to like things he doesn’t care about. It’s exhausting, and deep down, Alex feels more and more like a fraud. Now, think about what would happen if Alex decided to just be himself. He might not become friends with the popular kids, but he’d attract people who like him for who he really is. Imagine the relief of not having to constantly wear a mask. Eventually, Alex would find his tribe—the people who appreciate him without conditions.

In essence, seeking approval ties us down. Breaking free from that need? That’s where real growth happens. It’s about trusting yourself enough to know that what you think, what you feel, and what you do are enough. So go ahead, give yourself that permission. You might be surprised at how liberating it can be.