"تنها راه داشتن دوست این است که خودت یک دوست باشی"

To boil it down, if you want to have friends, you need to be a friend first. It’s like planting seeds in a garden—you can't expect flowers to bloom if you don’t put in the effort to plant and nurture them. The idea here is that friendship is a two-way street. You can’t just sit back and wait for people to come to you; you’ve got to put yourself out there, be genuine, and show up for others.

Think back to the 19th century when Ralph Waldo Emerson made this observation. He lived in a time when community and interpersonal relationships were crucial for survival and well-being. People relied on each other for everything from farming help to emotional support. Emerson, a philosopher and poet, emphasized the importance of genuine human connections in his works. Back then, being a good neighbor wasn’t just about being nice—it was about mutual survival and thriving.

Let’s make this practical. Imagine you’ve just moved to a new city. You don’t know anyone yet, and it feels pretty lonely. You’re hoping to make friends, but you’re not sure where to start. Instead of waiting for someone to reach out to you, you decide to join a local club or group that interests you—say, a book club or a running group. You show up regularly, engage in conversations, and offer to help out whenever someone needs it. Over time, by being consistent and showing genuine interest in others, you start forming connections. Those individuals you’ve supported and shown kindness to? They start to see you as a friend. Soon enough, they’re inviting you to other gatherings, and before you know it, you’ve got a circle of friends.

So, how do you apply this wisdom in your own life? First off, be proactive. If you’re feeling disconnected, take the initiative to reach out to others. It could be as simple as sending a message to an old friend or introducing yourself to a new colleague. Show genuine interest in their lives—ask about their day, their interests, their struggles. Listen actively and offer your support where you can. Little acts of kindness go a long way. It might mean lending a helping hand, being there when they need to talk, or just sharing a laugh. Consistency is key here. Friendships don’t usually flourish overnight; they require regular nurturing.

Picture this: you’re at a small party, and you notice someone standing alone, looking a bit out of place. You remember how that felt when it happened to you. So, you walk over, strike up a conversation, and make them feel included. You learn that they share some common interests with you, and you both laugh over a shared joke. Over the next few weeks, you keep in touch, grab coffee together, and support each other’s endeavors. That’s how friendship grows—through small, meaningful interactions and showing up for one another.

In essence, being a friend means embodying the qualities you seek in others. It’s about kindness, empathy, and genuine care. If you invest in these actions, the chances are you’ll find that others will reciprocate, leading to meaningful, lasting friendships. So, next time you’re yearning for a friend, remember—it starts with you.