"به ما آموخته‌اند که باید پدرتان، خواهرانتان، برادرانتان، مدرسه، معلمان را سرزنش کنید - می‌توانید هر کسی را سرزنش کنید، اما هرگز خودتان را سرزنش نکنید. هرگز تقصیر شما نیست. اما همیشه تقصیر شماست، زیرا اگر می‌خواستید تغییر کنید، شما کسی هستید که باید تغییر ک"

Let's break down this idea. The heart of the quote tells us that our culture often encourages us to blame others for our problems—our family, our education, our circumstances—but rarely do we look in the mirror. It's a hard truth: to make real change, we need to accept responsibility for our actions and choices. If we want something to be different in our lives, we have to be the ones to change.

Now, historically, self-responsibility has been a recurring theme. Think back to ancient philosophies. The Stoics, for example, emphasized that while we can't control external events, we can control how we respond to them. It's a similar principle here. The quote likely stems from the frustration of watching people perpetually point fingers instead of looking inward.

Let’s dive into a real-life example to see how this plays out. Imagine Jane, an aspiring writer. For years, Jane blamed her lack of progress on everything but herself. "My family's too loud," she'd say. "My job drains all my energy." But one day, she had an epiphany: what if she was the one holding herself back? So, Jane started waking up an hour earlier to write. She created a quiet space in her apartment and set small, achievable goals. Slowly but surely, she noticed progress. Jane's growth wasn't because her family suddenly became quiet or her job got easier—it was because she took responsibility and made the changes herself.

If you're trying to apply this wisdom, start small. First, recognize when you're blaming others. It can be subtle. "I would exercise more if my gym was closer," for example. Then, flip the script. What can you do to solve the problem? Maybe you can work out at home or find a nearby park. The idea is to shift from a victim mindset to an empowered one.

Let me tell you a story to bring this home. Picture Tom, a young professional struggling at work. He felt his boss was too demanding and his colleagues unhelpful. Tom was stuck in a cycle of frustration and blame. One day, over coffee with a mentor, Tom vented his usual complaints. The mentor listened patiently and then asked, "What can you do to make this better?" Tom was taken aback. He'd never considered his own role in the situation. He decided to be proactive: he sought feedback from his boss and asked colleagues how he could assist them. Gradually, Tom noticed a shift. His boss became more supportive, and his relationship with his colleagues improved. The environment hadn't changed—Tom had.

So, think about your own life. Are there areas where you're pointing fingers instead of taking charge? Next time you catch yourself blaming someone or something else, pause. Ask yourself what you can do to change the situation. It's not always easy, but it's incredibly empowering.

In the end, the message is simple: the key to change lies within us. We can't control everything, but we can control ourselves. That's where true power and growth come from. So, let's stop the blame game and start taking responsibility. It's the first step towards the life we want.