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"誰かを愛するときは、その人がありのままの姿を愛し、自分が望むような人として愛するのではありません。"

Leo Tolstoy
Leo Tolstoy Novelist
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Quote meaning
Loving someone as they are, instead of as you'd like them to be, is all about accepting the real, imperfect person standing in front of you. This idea revolves around embracing someone's true self, flaws and all, rather than trying to mold them into your ideal version. It's about seeing them clearly and appreciating them without trying to change their core essence.

This sentiment probably resonates with many because, let's face it, we've all been there. Maybe it was a friend, a partner, or even a family member. You really want them to do things differently—to be more organized, more ambitious, or maybe just to stop leaving dirty dishes in the sink. But real love is about letting go of those expectations and appreciating who they are, quirks included.

Take, for instance, the famous story of Johnny Cash and June Carter. Johnny had his fair share of struggles, from addiction to a bit of a wild streak. Yet, June loved him through it all. She saw his flaws, his struggles, and his imperfections, but she also saw his potential for greatness, his heart, and his talents. She didn't try to fundamentally change him. Instead, she supported him, stood by him, and helped him become the best version of himself without expecting him to be someone he wasn't. Their love story became legendary because it wasn't about perfection; it was about acceptance and support.

If you're trying to put this wisdom into practice, start small. Next time your partner does that one thing that annoys you—like leaving clothes on the floor—pause for a moment. Instead of immediately jumping in to criticize or correct, take a deep breath and think about all the things you love about them. Maybe they're messy, but they're also kind, funny, and always there when you need them. Focus on those positives, and let the small stuff slide sometimes.

It's also helpful to have open and honest conversations. Let them know what you appreciate about them. When you do need to address something that bothers you, do it from a place of love and understanding. Instead of saying, "You never clean up after yourself," try, "I feel a bit overwhelmed when the house is messy. Can we figure out a way to keep things tidier together?"

Imagine you're at a café with your best friend, and they're venting about their partner's annoying habits. You sip your latte, listening intently. You remind them of all the great qualities their partner has—the way they always make them laugh, how they support their dreams, and how they bring coffee every morning without fail. You suggest, "Maybe try and see the whole picture. They're not perfect, but neither are we. It's about loving the real person, not the ideal version."

Loving someone as they are means embracing the full package—strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between. It's about seeing the beauty in imperfection and choosing to love the whole person. After all, wouldn't you want someone to love you for who you truly are, rather than who they want you to be?
Related tags
Acceptance Authenticity Compassion Love Relationships Selflessness Tolerance True love Unconditional love Understanding
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