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"Les experts en romantisme disent que pour un mariage heureux, il doit y avoir plus qu'un amour passionné. Pour une union durable, ils insistent, il doit y avoir une véritable appréciation mutuelle. Ce qui, à mon avis, est une bonne définition de l'amitié."

Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe Actress
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You know, when experts talk about what makes a marriage truly happy, they don't just harp on about the butterflies in your stomach or those grand romantic gestures. Sure, those things are great, but they suggest something deeper—something a bit more grounded. Essentially, they say that for a marriage to really go the distance, it needs more than just passion. It needs a foundation where you genuinely like each other. And honestly, isn't that what friendship is all about?

Let's break it down. Passionate love is often what gets things started. It's intense, exciting, and sometimes a bit overwhelming. But, like a roaring fire, it can burn out if there's nothing to sustain it. Think back to when you first met your partner. The thrill of discovering each other, the late-night conversations, the overwhelming feeling of just wanting to be near them all the time. That's passion. But what happens when life throws you curveballs? When the initial excitement fades and you're left with the everyday grind?

This is where the idea of genuinely liking each other comes into play. Imagine spending decades with someone. If all you had was that initial spark, you'd be in trouble when things got tough. Instead, having a deep-seated friendship with your partner means you enjoy each other's company, even when you're just sitting on the couch in your pajamas, binge-watching your favorite show. It means you respect each other's opinions, laugh at each other's jokes, and support each other through thick and thin.

Take the example of my friends, Sarah and Mike. They've been together for almost 20 years now. When they first started dating, it was all about that whirlwind romance. But what has kept them together through job losses, moving to new cities, and raising two kids isn't just passion. It's their friendship. They genuinely like hanging out with each other. They have inside jokes that never get old, they're each other's biggest cheerleaders, and they know how to have fun together, even when times are tough.

So, how do you apply this wisdom to your own life? Focus on building that friendship. Spend quality time together doing things you both enjoy. Communicate openly and honestly—about the small stuff and the big stuff. Learn to appreciate each other's quirks and differences. If you can laugh together, support each other, and truly enjoy each other's company, you're on the right track.

Here's a little scenario to illustrate this. Imagine you're planning a weekend getaway with your partner. Sure, a romantic beachside resort sounds amazing, but what if you both love hiking and exploring nature? Instead of going for the stereotypical romantic destination, you plan a trip to a national park. You spend your days hiking trails, discovering hidden waterfalls, and your evenings by the campfire, just talking and stargazing. This isn't just about the romance—it's about enjoying each other's company and creating memories that you'll cherish because you genuinely like being with each other.

In the end, a lasting relationship isn't just about those starry-eyed moments (though they're nice). It's about building a life together that's rooted in friendship. So, next time you're thinking about what makes your relationship strong, remember to nurture not just the love, but the genuine liking too.
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Expert opinion Marriage advice Romantic relationships
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