"La pregunta no es qué queremos saber sobre las personas, es qué quieren contar las personas sobre sí mismas."

So, let's break this down. The main idea here is that instead of focusing on what information we want to extract from others, we should pay attention to what they are comfortable and eager to share about themselves. It's a shift from being inquisitive to being receptive, from probing to listening.

Historically, this concept has roots in various philosophies and communication theories. In the realm of journalism and storytelling, for example, it's a principle that guides ethical interviewing. Instead of pushing for answers to satisfy one's curiosity or agenda, a good journalist or interviewer creates a space where the interviewee feels safe and valued, which often leads to more authentic and insightful sharing. Even in everyday conversations, this shift can change the dynamics significantly, fostering a deeper connection and understanding between people.

Imagine you're at a family gathering, and there's that one uncle who always seems to take over the conversation, asking pointed questions about your job, your love life, your plans for the future. It can feel like an interrogation, right? Now, picture a different scenario where he simply asks, "What’s been on your mind lately?" and then just listens. Suddenly, you might find yourself opening up about something you’re passionate about or a recent experience that really moved you. That’s the magic of letting people tell their own stories.

In practical terms, this means cultivating an environment where people feel comfortable expressing themselves. Think about a manager in a workplace. Instead of constantly asking employees for progress reports or specific details, the manager could have regular check-ins where they ask open-ended questions like, "What's something you're excited about in your work?" or "Is there anything you're finding particularly challenging?" This not only makes employees feel heard but often brings out insights and ideas that might not surface in a more interrogative setting.

If you're keen to apply this wisdom, start by practicing active listening. This isn't just about hearing words, but really paying attention—facial expressions, body language, the emotions behind the words. Be patient and resist the urge to interrupt or steer the conversation. Use open-ended questions that give the other person the freedom to share what's meaningful to them. Phrases like “Tell me more about that” or “How did that make you feel?” can be incredibly effective.

Let me share a story to illustrate this. A friend of mine, let's call her Sarah, was having trouble connecting with her teenage son, Jake. Every time she tried to talk to him, he'd clam up or give one-word answers. Frustrated, she decided to change her approach. Instead of asking about his grades or his friends, she started sharing more about her own day, her thoughts, her feelings. Slowly, Jake began to open up in return. He felt more at ease, knowing it wasn’t an interrogation but a mutual exchange. Over time, their conversations grew deeper and more meaningful.

So, next time you're in a conversation, think about what the other person might want to share, not just what you want to know. You'll be surprised at how much more enriching and genuine your interactions can become. It's a small shift, but it makes a world of difference.