"Le conflit est inévitable mais le combat est facultatif"

Conflict is a part of life. It's bound to happen when people with different perspectives and backgrounds interact. But here's the thing—just because conflict arises, doesn't mean we have to battle it out. We get to choose how we respond.

This idea is pretty straightforward. While disagreements are unavoidable, we don’t have to let them escalate into full-blown fights. You might have heard this from a wise mentor or a seasoned mediator who’s seen their fair share of disputes. The essence is that while we can’t always control what happens to us, we can control how we react.

Think about the workplace. Picture a team meeting where two colleagues disagree on the direction of a project. John thinks the project should follow one strategy, while Sarah believes another approach is better. The tension is thick. It’s easy for this to spiral into a heated argument, right? But what if, instead of raising voices and interrupting each other, they took a step back? John and Sarah could agree to express their points calmly and listen to each other’s perspectives. Maybe they find common ground or even come up with a third option that incorporates both their ideas.

So, how can we apply this in our own lives? Start by recognizing when you’re in a conflict. That’s the first step. Feel your anger rising? Your heart beating faster? Take a deep breath. Pause. Ask yourself: “Do I need to win this argument, or can we find a middle ground?” Often, it’s the ego that craves victory, not the rational mind. By addressing the issue calmly, you keep the focus on the problem, not the person.

Imagine you’re at a family dinner, and a heated topic comes up—politics, for example. Your uncle has a very different opinion than you do. Instead of jumping into a debate and trying to prove him wrong, you could say, “I see where you’re coming from, even though I don’t agree. Can we talk about something else?” This way, you avoid turning the dinner into a battleground and maintain the peace.

Let’s dive into a brief story. Emily and her best friend, Lisa, had a fallout over a misunderstanding. Emily felt hurt and wanted to confront Lisa. She was ready for a showdown. But then she remembered this principle. Instead of accusing Lisa, she decided to share her feelings without blaming her. “When you canceled our plans last minute, I felt unimportant,” she said. Lisa explained her side, and they realized it was a big misunderstanding. By choosing not to combat, they preserved their friendship.

What’s the takeaway? Next time you find yourself in a conflict, remember you have a choice. You don’t have to fight. You can talk. You can listen. You can understand. It’s not about avoiding conflict altogether—that’s impossible. It’s about handling it with grace and maturity. So next time, before you let your emotions take over, pause and think: is this worth the battle, or can we find a better way?