"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."

People often reveal their true nature through their actions, especially the first time you encounter significant behavior. It's a reminder not to ignore red flags or make excuses for someone when they show you their real self early on. This means paying attention and trusting your instincts rather than rationalizing or hoping they'll change.

This idea was popularized by the great Maya Angelou, a renowned poet and civil rights activist. The context here is her broader teachings about self-respect and interpersonal relationships. She emphasized that people’s actions are a true reflection of who they are—more so than their words.

Imagine you’re starting a new job, and on your first day, your boss snaps at you for asking a simple question. You might think, “Maybe they’re just having a bad day.” But what if that snap is more than a one-off? What if this behavior persists? It’s a clue about their leadership style and how they manage their team. If you ignore it, you might find yourself stuck in a toxic work environment.

Let’s bring this closer to home—think about dating. Suppose you’re on a date, and your date is rude to the waiter. They might later apologize and explain they were stressed, but that initial behavior is a glimpse into their character. Are you willing to gamble on the hope they'll act differently in the future? It's wiser to acknowledge that this disrespectful behavior could surface again.

So, what can you do with this wisdom? Start by being more observant. When you’re meeting someone new or starting a new relationship—whether professional or personal—pay close attention to how they treat others and respond to situations. Reflect on whether you’re making excuses for them. If someone disrespects you or others, consider if you want to maintain a relationship with them.

Picture this: You’ve just moved into a new neighborhood and you’re eager to make friends. Your neighbor invites you over for a barbecue. At the party, you notice they make a few offhand, derogatory comments about another neighbor. You feel uncomfortable but think, “Maybe they didn’t mean it.” But next time you meet, they make similar remarks. You’re seeing a pattern. They’ve shown you who they are—maybe it’s time to believe them and be cautious about forming a close friendship.

The story doesn’t end on a somber note, though. Recognizing true colors early can save you a lot of heartache. You're better equipped to surround yourself with positive, respectful people who uplift you. It’s about setting boundaries and ensuring your circle is filled with individuals who align with your values.

In a nutshell, when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. It’s about being alert and trusting your initial observations. This approach can help you steer clear of toxic relationships and foster healthier connections. It’s not about cynicism; it's about being wise and protecting your emotional well-being. So, next time you sense something off, take it seriously. Your future self will thank you.