"Ne faites jamais de quelqu'un une priorité lorsque tout ce que vous êtes pour eux est une option"

The core idea here is that you shouldn't devote your time and energy to someone who doesn't treat you with the same level of importance. It's like this: imagine pouring your heart into a relationship, only to find out that the other person sees you as just one of many options. That imbalance can lead to hurt and frustration.

This sentiment has been shared in various forms throughout history, often as a piece of advice to guard one's self-worth and avoid unnecessary emotional pain. It’s sometimes attributed to Maya Angelou, but regardless of who first said it, the wisdom holds up. It’s a reminder to value ourselves and seek relationships where mutual respect and priority exist.

Let's take a real-life example. Think about your friend Lisa. Lisa has been dating Mark for about six months. Whenever they hang out, Lisa goes all out—planning dates, making dinner, being there for Mark whenever he needs support. But Mark, well, he’s a bit flaky. He cancels plans last minute, doesn’t initiate much, and sometimes goes days without texting back. Lisa feels like she’s on a rollercoaster of emotions, always wondering where she stands with him.

One day, Lisa decides to have a heart-to-heart with Mark. She explains how she feels and asks for more consistency. Mark brushes it off, saying he’s just “super busy” and doesn’t see the big deal. That’s a red flag waving right there. Lisa realizes she’s been making Mark a priority, treating him like he’s the most important part of her life, while Mark treats her like an afterthought.

So what can Lisa do? First, she needs to recognize her own value. She deserves a relationship where efforts are reciprocated. She might take a step back from Mark—no more last-minute plans or bending over backward to accommodate him. It’s about setting boundaries. If Mark steps up, great. If not, Lisa saves herself from further heartache.

Imagine you’re at a party, and there’s a big plate of cookies. You’re super excited and you decide to eat just one cookie, savoring its taste, thinking it’s the best cookie ever. But then, you see someone come over, grab a handful, and munch on them without a second thought. That’s kind of like making someone a priority who only sees you as an option. You’re that one special cookie to yourself, but they’re treating you like just one in a batch.

To apply this wisdom in your life, start by evaluating your relationships. Are you always the one reaching out, making plans, and compromising? Take a step back and observe. If the other person doesn’t match your efforts, it’s time to reconsider how much energy you invest in them. You don’t have to drop them completely—just recalibrate the balance. Spend more time with people who truly value you.

Once, I had a friend who would always ask for favors but never seemed to be around when I needed help. It was draining. After a while, I realized I was being used. I stopped going out of my way for them and focused on friends who were genuinely there for me. It was liberating.

In the end, it’s about self-respect and smart emotional investments. Don’t give the best parts of yourself to someone who doesn’t appreciate them. You deserve to be more than just an option—you deserve to be a priority.