"A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true"

The idea here is pretty straightforward: if each person in a relationship believes their partner is too good for them, the relationship has a better chance of lasting longer. It sounds like a mind game, but there's some real wisdom behind it.

This idea likely stems from the notion of humility and gratitude in relationships. When you think your partner is amazing and you're lucky to have them, you tend to treat them with more respect and appreciation. You work harder to keep the relationship strong because you feel like you've got something precious that you don't want to lose. This mindset can keep the love alive and prevent complacency.

Think about it. When you first start dating someone you really like, you put in a lot of effort, right? You dress up, plan nice dates, and are generally on your best behavior. You're basically trying to show them that you're worth their time. Now, imagine if you kept that same mentality, even after years of being together. You’d naturally keep doing those little things that show you care, and your partner would feel valued and loved.

Here’s a real-life example: take a couple who’s been married for 20 years. The husband, let’s call him John, always feels like he’s the luckiest man in the world to have his wife, Sarah. He admires her intelligence, kindness, and beauty. Sarah, on the other hand, feels the same about John. She thinks he’s the most hardworking, funny, and supportive person she’s ever met. Because they both believe they don’t quite deserve their partner, they continuously put in the effort to make each other happy. They’re always doing small acts of kindness, never taking each other for granted. This mutual admiration society creates a positive feedback loop that strengthens their bond over time.

So, how do you apply this wisdom to your own relationship? Start by genuinely appreciating your partner’s qualities. Make a mental list—or even a physical one—of all the things you love about them. Focus on their positive attributes and let them know how much they mean to you. Compliment them often. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures; small, heartfelt compliments can go a long way. Also, work on yourself. Strive to be the best partner you can be, not just for them, but because you believe they deserve the best.

Imagine a scenario where you’re in a long-term relationship. You’ve been together for years, and life gets busy—work, kids, chores. It’s easy to fall into a routine and stop putting in the effort. Now, think about a moment when you realized how amazing your partner is—a time they surprised you with a kind gesture, or simply supported you during a tough day. Hold onto that feeling. Use it as a reminder to keep putting in the effort. Plan a surprise date, write them a love note, or just say thank you for being incredible. By consistently showing appreciation and effort, you’re reinforcing the idea that you’re lucky to have each other.

In the end, it’s about mutual respect and appreciation. Believing you’re lucky to have your partner creates a healthy dynamic where both people feel valued and loved. It’s like watering a plant—consistent care keeps it alive and thriving. And hey, who doesn’t want a relationship that flourishes?