"You can only control your attempt at loving, not the actual behavior"

The key message here is that while you might strive to show love, you can't dictate how someone else receives or responds to it. It's about understanding that your efforts and actions are within your control, but the other person's feelings and reactions aren't your responsibility.

Historically, this idea has roots in many philosophical and spiritual teachings. In relationships, whether it's with family, friends, or partners, people often struggle with the desire for their love to be reciprocated in the same way they express it. This quote reminds us that our duty is to be loving, not to ensure that love is returned in the same measure.

Think about a mother and her teenage son. She shows her love by cooking his favorite meals, attending his soccer games, and being there for his ups and downs. But as teens sometimes do, he might respond with indifference or even rebellion. The mother could get frustrated, feeling her efforts are unrecognized or unappreciated. However, if she understands that she can't control his behavior, she'll realize her role is to love him regardless. Over time, he might come to appreciate her sacrifices in his own way.

The practical application of this wisdom can be seen in everyday life. Have you ever done something kind for a friend and felt hurt when they didn’t seem to appreciate it? Maybe you helped them move or listened to their problems for hours, but when you needed them, they were nowhere to be found. It’s easy to feel resentful. However, if you understand that your role is to act with kindness and love without expecting anything in return, it takes a load off your shoulders. You’re doing your part, and that’s what matters.

So how can you apply this in your life? Start by recognizing your actions are your choice, but you don’t get to decide how others react. This means loving freely without strings attached. It’s about being conscious of your intentions—love because you want to, not because you expect something back. It can be liberating to realize that the only person you have control over is yourself.

Imagine this scenario: You’re in a relationship where you’re always planning little surprises for your partner. You make their favorite breakfast in bed, write them sweet notes, and plan fun dates. But your partner’s responses are lukewarm—they appreciate it but don’t reciprocate in the same way. Instead of feeling disheartened, remind yourself why you’re doing it. You love making them happy. That’s your choice. Their reaction, whether it’s a big thank you or a simple smile, is theirs.

By embracing this mindset, you free yourself from the burden of unmet expectations. It becomes easier to focus on what you can control: your love, your effort, your kindness. You stop keeping score and start living more genuinely. Remember, it’s not about getting the same love back but about being the best version of yourself. This makes your relationships healthier and more fulfilling, as they’re built on pure intentions rather than transactional expectations.