"بخشش یعنی رها کردن امید به اینکه گذشته می‌توانست متفاوت باشد"

Let’s break this down. Forgiveness, at its core, means letting go of the idea that things could’ve gone differently. It’s about releasing the what-ifs and should-haves that haunt our minds. You can’t change what’s already happened, so forgiveness becomes a way to stop the past from controlling your present and future.

Consider the context. This idea comes up a lot in self-help and psychology circles. Why? Because hanging onto resentment or regret is a heavy burden. It was probably said as a reminder that clinging to past mistakes—whether your own or someone else’s—only holds you back. It’s about finding peace within yourself.

Imagine this: You’re holding a grudge against a friend who betrayed your trust years ago. Every time you think about it, you feel a pang in your chest. You replay the events in your mind, imagining different outcomes. But that’s the thing—you can imagine all you want, but it won’t change what happened. It’s like trying to rewrite history.

Take the example of Nelson Mandela. He spent 27 years in prison in South Africa during the apartheid era. When he was released, he had every reason to be bitter. He could’ve spent the rest of his life dwelling on the injustice. But he chose forgiveness. By letting go of the past, he was able to lead his country into a new era of reconciliation and healing. Mandela’s story shows that forgiveness isn’t about forgetting—it’s about accepting that the past can’t be altered and moving forward regardless.

So, how do you apply this to your life? Start by acknowledging your feelings. Don’t bottle them up. Then, shift your focus. Instead of wondering how things could have been different, ask yourself what you’ve learned. What has this experience taught you? How has it made you stronger or wiser? It’s about changing your perspective.

Let me tell you a story that might resonate. Picture this: Sarah and her brother, Jake, had a huge fallout over a business deal gone wrong. They didn’t speak for years. Every family gathering was awkward—tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. One day, Sarah realized that holding onto her anger wasn’t hurting Jake; it was hurting her. She was missing out on having her brother in her life. So, she decided to forgive him. They talked, hashed things out, and while it wasn’t easy, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She stopped wishing the past could change and started focusing on the present.

Forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about you. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of the past. When you let go of the hope that things could’ve been different, you make room for new possibilities, new experiences, and new happiness. So, let go. Embrace the now. And move forward lighter and freer.