"در این دنیا فقط دو تراژدی وجود دارد یکی این است که آنچه می‌خواهی را به دست نیاوری و دیگری این است که آن را به دست بیاوری"

Imagine you’ve been dreaming about that shiny new car for years. You’ve saved up, you’ve worked hard, and finally, the day comes when you drive it off the lot. It’s everything you imagined—until a month later, when you start to worry about the monthly payments, the insurance, the maintenance. The thrill fades, and you’re left with a gnawing feeling that maybe this thing you wanted so badly isn't solving all your problems after all. This, in essence, is what Oscar Wilde was getting at with that quote.

Wilde suggests there’s a paradox in our desires. On one hand, not achieving what we want leaves us feeling unfulfilled. We pine and yearn, imagining how perfect life would be if we just had that one thing. On the other hand, getting what we want can also be a source of pain. Once we have it, we might realize it doesn’t bring the joy we expected, or it comes with its own set of complications and responsibilities.

Wilde’s insight came from his keen observation of human nature and society. He lived in a time (late 19th century) when social norms and appearances were highly valued, and he saw people constantly striving for status, wealth, and approval—often to their detriment. Wilde himself experienced both extremes: he achieved great literary success and fame, but also faced public scandal and imprisonment. His life was a testament to the dual tragedy he described.

Take, for example, the story of Jane, a friend of mine. Jane always dreamt of becoming a big-shot lawyer. She imagined the prestige, the power, the respect she would command. She worked tirelessly through law school, sacrificing weekends and relationships. Eventually, she landed a job at a top firm. For a while, it was everything she’d hoped for. But soon, the long hours, the constant pressure, and the lack of a personal life took a toll. Jane found herself missing the simpler joys she’d given up. She got what she wanted, but it wasn’t the dream she’d imagined—it was a different kind of prison.

So how do we apply Wilde’s wisdom in our own lives? One piece of advice is to be mindful of our desires. When you find yourself fixating on something, ask why you want it. Is it because it will genuinely improve your life, or is it because you think it will make you happier or more successful? Sometimes, we’re chasing things that won’t actually fulfill us. It’s like that scene in “The Great Gatsby” where Gatsby stares longingly at the green light across the bay—he’s chasing an ideal that may not even exist.

Another approach is to find contentment in the present. Instead of always reaching for the next big thing, try to appreciate what you already have. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have goals or ambitions—just that you should balance them with gratitude for your current life. Think about the times you dreamed of being where you are now.

Picture this: you’re at a coffee shop, chatting with an old friend. You’re reminiscing about college days, the dreams you had, and how things turned out. As you talk, you realize that the best moments weren’t about achieving something monumental—they were about the people you were with, the late-night conversations, the shared laughter. It’s a reminder that while goals are important, the journey is where life really happens.

So next time you’re dreaming big, remember Wilde’s words. Getting what you want might not be the golden ticket you think it is, and not getting it might just be a blessing in disguise. Life’s a bit of a paradox that way—embrace it.