"To make oneself hated is more difficult than to make oneself loved."

Making someone despise you is actually harder than getting them to like you. Think about it for a second: we often go through life wanting to be liked. We subtly angle ourselves to be endearing, charming, agreeable. But to be truly hated? That takes a special kind of effort.

Back in the day, maybe around the Renaissance period, Niccolò Machiavelli had something to say about this. He was a political thinker, and man, he knew a thing or two about power and influence. He probably tossed this idea around, though not in these exact words. The essence behind it is that love often comes naturally, but hatred requires deliberate, consistent actions that go against our usual social behaviors.

Imagine this: there’s a guy at your job who’s just universally adored. He’s the one everyone wants to sit with at lunch, always has a joke ready, and remembers birthdays. Now, if he started showing up late, ignoring people, and just being a jerk, it wouldn’t instantly make everyone hate him. They’d probably cut him some slack. It would take repeated offenses to change the office’s perception of him from lovable to loathsome.

To really see this in action, let’s talk about public figures. Consider someone like Martin Shkreli, the former pharmaceutical executive. He was universally despised for dramatically hiking the price of a life-saving drug. But even he didn’t become hated overnight. It was his continued arrogance and unapologetic stance in the face of criticism that solidified people’s loathing.

So, how do you apply this to your life? Well, if you're aiming to be liked, you’ve probably got it easier than you think. It’s in our nature to give people the benefit of the doubt, to look for the good. Smile more, be a good listener, show genuine interest in others—it's all stuff you’ve heard before because it works. Conversely, if you ever find yourself in a position where everyone seems to dislike you, it might be a good moment to reflect. Have you been consistently acting in ways that push people away?

Let’s bring this closer to home with a story. Imagine you’ve got a neighbor, Sarah. She’s always been polite, waves when she sees you, maybe even brings over cookies during the holidays. One day, she blasts loud music late at night. You're annoyed, but you let it slide. The next week, she forgets to bring in her trash bins, and they spill over into your yard. Annoying, sure, but you still think, “Maybe she’s having a tough time.” It’s only when she repeatedly shows a blatant disregard for your shared space and peace that you start thinking, “Wow, I really don’t like Sarah anymore.”

This underscores the idea: to make oneself truly hated, you have to consistently behave in ways that disregard and disrespect others. On the flip side, being loved, or at least liked, often comes more naturally and is easier to maintain.

So next time you’re stressing about making a good impression, remember, people are generally predisposed to like you. It’s only when you go out of your way to be consistently awful that you’ll really have to worry. Isn’t it kind of comforting?