"Ni la famille ni les enfants ni les relations avec les autres ne peuvent être correctement ordonnés tant que les passions et les désirs ne sont pas soumis."

Before we can manage our relationships with family, friends, kids, or even our day-to-day interactions, we first need to get a grip on our own emotions and desires. If we let our passions run wild, it's like trying to steer a ship without a rudder—chaos is pretty much guaranteed.

Think about it this way: imagine you're always stressed out or feeling angry. How's that going to affect the way you talk to your partner or your kids? Probably not in a good way. Your inner turmoil spills over, and pretty soon, everyone's on edge. This idea isn't new. From ancient philosophies to modern psychology, the wisdom is the same—internal balance is key to external harmony.

Take Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher. He often wrote about mastering one's inner self. He believed that you can't control the external world, but you can control how you react to it. It's the same deal here. If your desires are all over the place, it'll be hard to nurture a loving and understanding family environment.

Let's look at a real-life example: picture a CEO who's super ambitious but doesn't know how to switch off from work. He's always glued to his phone, even during family dinners. His kids crave his attention, his spouse feels neglected, and his team at work senses his constant stress. This guy might be successful in his career, but his lack of emotional regulation is causing rifts in his personal life. If he takes the time to understand his drive and learn to balance it, maybe by setting aside dedicated family time, everyone benefits. His kids get the dad they need, his spouse gets a partner, and he probably ends up happier too.

So how do you apply this wisdom? Start small. Notice your triggers. Maybe you get impatient in traffic or irritated when your partner leaves dishes in the sink. These little moments are goldmines for self-discovery. Instead of reacting immediately, take a breath. Ask yourself why this bothers you so much. Is it really about the dishes, or is it about feeling disrespected? Once you understand the root cause, it's easier to manage your response.

Now, let's weave this into a story. Imagine you're a mom named Sarah. You love your kids, but after a long day, their constant bickering gets under your skin. One evening, after snapping at them for the umpteenth time, you sit down with a cup of tea and reflect. You realize your frustration isn't just about the noise—it's also about feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed. Next day, you try a different approach. When the bickering starts, you take a deep breath and calmly ask them to help with dinner. Engaging them in a task distracts them from fighting and makes them feel involved. Dinner becomes a shared activity rather than a battleground.

And there you have it. By understanding your internal landscape, you can create a more peaceful external one. It's not easy, but it's definitely worth it. So next time you feel your blood boiling, take a moment. Reflect. Understand. Then act. Your relationships will thank you.