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"一个人去爱另一个人:这也许是我们所有任务中最困难的,最终的,最后的考验和证明,是所有其他工作只是准备的工作。"

Rainer Maria Rilke
Rainer Maria Rilke Poet
Translations
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Quote meaning
Loving another person, truly and deeply, might be the hardest thing we ever have to do. It’s more challenging than any job, more demanding than any project. This isn’t just about the thrill of romance or the comfort of companionship. It's about understanding another person’s soul—really getting them—amidst all their flaws and complexities. When the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke said this, he wasn’t just waxing poetic; he was laying down some profound truth about what it means to connect on the deepest level.

Rilke lived in an era of great change and turmoil in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, where traditional social norms were being questioned and emotional depths were being explored like never before. He wrote letters, poems, and prose that delved deeply into the human condition, and his insights into love were both personal and universal. He knew that real love isn’t just a feeling but a conscious choice and continuous effort. It's the ultimate test of one's character and emotional fortitude, and everything else we do in life—learning, working, growing—prepares us for this monumental task.

Take, for example, the story of a couple who’ve been married for decades. The early days were easy—passion, excitement, discovering each other's quirks. But then life happens. There are kids, mortgages, illnesses, and job losses. Through it all, remaining committed isn’t about staying in the honeymoon phase forever. It’s about choosing each other every day, even when it’s hard. It’s about the husband learning to listen, really listen, when his wife talks about her day. It’s about the wife forgiving her husband when he forgets their anniversary because he’s stressed from work. Real love is in the everyday acts of kindness, patience, and understanding.

So, how do you apply this wisdom to your life? Start by being present. Put down your phone when your partner is talking. Make eye contact. Show empathy. Understand that they’re not perfect, and neither are you. That annoying habit they have? It’s part of who they are. Instead of trying to change them, try to understand why they do it. Practice patience. When you’re angry, take a breath before you speak. Remember that love isn’t about winning an argument—it's about finding common ground.

Imagine you're in a heated argument with your partner. Your instinct might be to lash out, to defend yourself. But what if you paused and tried to see things from their perspective? What if you asked yourself, “What are they really feeling right now?” Maybe they’re scared, or hurt, or feeling unappreciated. By understanding their emotions, you can respond with empathy rather than anger.

Or think about a parent and child relationship. As a parent, you might get frustrated with your child’s behavior. But loving them means looking beyond the surface. Maybe your child is acting out because they’re stressed about school. Instead of punishment, they need a hug and reassurance that you’re there for them, no matter what.

Essentially, loving someone is like tending to a fragile plant. It requires patience, attention, and care. You can’t just water it once and expect it to thrive. You need to nurture it every day, even when it’s hard and you’re tired. This is the essence of Rilke's message. Love is the ultimate work. And it's worth every bit of effort we put into it.
Related tags
Difficulty Emotional labor Human connection Intimacy Love Personal growth Preparation Relationships Task
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