"Mientras tengas ciertos deseos sobre cómo debería ser, no puedes ver cómo es."

When you're stuck on how you think things should be, you miss seeing how they actually are. Think about it this way: if you’re always looking at the world through a lens of expectation, you’re going to miss out on the reality staring you in the face. This idea is pretty timeless. It’s about getting out of your own head and being present—actually seeing what’s in front of you, not what you wish was there.

Historically, this kind of thinking has been echoed everywhere, from ancient philosophers to modern self-help gurus. We’ve all been guilty of it. You get an idea in your head of how something should go. Maybe it’s a job, a relationship, or just your day. And when reality doesn’t match up, it’s easy to get frustrated or feel let down. But the problem isn’t reality—it’s our expectations.

Let me tell you a story. Picture this: Jenna, a young artist, graduates from art school with big dreams. She imagines her work in fancy galleries and selling out shows. But, reality check—she’s struggling to get by, selling a piece here and there, but mostly working odd jobs. Jenna keeps focusing on where she thought she’d be by now, which makes her miserable. She can’t see the progress she’s actually made because she’s always comparing it to this fantasy.

One day, she meets an older artist who’s been around the block. He tells her, "Stop thinking about where you should be. Look at where you are. You're working, you're creating. That’s what matters." It’s a lightbulb moment for Jenna. She starts appreciating the small wins, like positive feedback and local shows. She realizes she’s on a journey, and it’s okay if it doesn’t look like the one she planned.

So, how can you put this wisdom to work in your life? Start by checking in with yourself. When you’re feeling disappointed or frustrated, ask, “Am I upset because of how things are, or because they’re not meeting my expectations?” This little pause can be a game-changer. Practice being present. Instead of focusing on what’s missing, notice what’s there. It's not always easy, but it can bring a lot of peace.

Imagine this: You’re at a family dinner. In your mind, you picture it as a perfect get-together—everyone’s laughing, sharing stories, the food’s amazing. But instead, your uncle's late, your cousin’s on her phone, and the turkey’s a bit dry. You can sit there, stewing, thinking about how it’s not living up to your ideal. Or, you can laugh at the little hiccups, enjoy the company, and be grateful for the moment. It’s up to you.

In the end, it's about being open to the present. Life rarely goes as planned. But when you stop clinging to “shoulds” and “oughts,” you open up to what is. And often, what is can be pretty darn good—if you let it.