"آنچه اینجا می‌بینیم بازتاب خودمان است"

What we’re really dealing with is our own reflection. When we look at others and judge, criticize, or even admire, we’re often seeing parts of ourselves. Let’s break this down.

Imagine you’re at a coffee shop, chatting with a friend, and you find yourself getting irritated by the loud guy at the next table. You think he’s obnoxious, but maybe—just maybe—you’re actually irritated because he reminds you of how loud you can be sometimes. Or he’s confident in a way you wish you were. This idea comes from the concept of projection, where we see traits in others that we recognize in ourselves, often unconsciously.

Historically, this notion has roots in psychology. Sigmund Freud first introduced the idea of projection in the early 20th century. He suggested that people project their own undesirable feelings or thoughts onto someone else to avoid facing them within themselves. It’s like holding up a mirror and seeing bits of your own face reflected back at you.

Let’s dive into a real-life example. Picture a workplace scenario: Sarah is always quick to point out her colleague John’s mistakes. She gets really worked up about his errors. But if you dig a little deeper, you might find that Sarah is actually deeply insecure about her own performance. John’s mistakes amplify her own fear of failure, so she fixates on him instead of addressing her own concerns. By projecting her anxiety onto John, she can, temporarily, avoid confronting her own vulnerabilities.

So how can you apply this wisdom in your life? Start by noticing those strong reactions you have towards others. If someone really annoys you, take a step back and ask yourself, “Is this something I also struggle with?” It’s not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty—it’s about gaining insight. Use these moments as opportunities for self-reflection and growth.

Imagine you’re at a family dinner, and Uncle Bob starts bragging about his new car. You feel a surge of irritation. Instead of stewing in it, you might consider: Are you jealous? Do you wish you had a new car, too? Or maybe it’s not about the car at all—perhaps you’re envious of his confidence. Recognizing this can be the first step in addressing your own desires and insecurities.

Here’s a little story to bring it home: Jane was always frustrated with her roommate, Emily, for being so messy. Jane would come home and immediately start cleaning, muttering under her breath about Emily’s clutter. One day, a friend pointed out that Jane’s need for cleanliness was almost obsessive. Jane realized that Emily’s messiness was a reflection of her own fear of chaos and lack of control. By understanding this, Jane started working on her need for control rather than just fuming at Emily.

Life is a mix of interactions that serve as mirrors. When you find yourself reacting strongly to someone, take a moment to look at your own reflection. What’s it showing you about yourself? Use these reflections not as points of frustration but as pathways to better understanding yourself. After all, the more you see, the more you grow.