"You have to break down who you think you are in order to become who you could be"

Changing yourself is never easy, but it’s often necessary to become the person you truly want to be. The idea here is that you can’t cling to old identities and habits if you want to grow. Think about it like this: to build a new house, sometimes you have to tear down the old one first.

This concept has roots in many ancient teachings and philosophies, but it’s not just some lofty ideal. It’s about real, messy, personal change. Imagine you’re a software developer who has always been seen as a techie, someone who’s great with code but maybe a little awkward in social situations. You’ve spent years building that identity, and it’s comfortable. But lately, you’ve felt drawn to leadership roles, thinking you might want to be a project manager or even start your own company one day. To do that, you’d have to let go of the “just a techie” part of yourself and embrace the role of a leader, which can be pretty scary.

Take Michael Jordan, for example. He’s known as one of the greatest basketball players of all time. But in 1993, at the peak of his career, he left basketball to pursue a career in baseball. A lot of people thought he was crazy. He’d built his identity around being a basketball superstar. But for Jordan, it was about exploring another part of himself, something he’d always wanted to do. Ultimately, he returned to basketball, but he came back with a renewed sense of purpose. He broke down his identity as just a basketball player and emerged even stronger.

To apply this wisdom in your own life, start by identifying the parts of yourself that are holding you back. Are you clinging to an old job title, a past relationship, or a specific image of yourself that no longer serves you? Once you’ve identified these areas, take small steps to break them down. It could be as simple as taking a course in a new field, joining a new social group, or even changing your daily routine. The key is to be patient with yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it can be uncomfortable.

Imagine this scenario: You’re a graphic designer, and you’ve always seen yourself as purely creative, not cut out for business. But you’ve been dreaming of starting your own freelance agency. To do that, you’ll need to learn some business skills—things like budgeting, client management, and marketing. It’s a bit like tearing down a wall in your house that you’ve always thought was load-bearing, but guess what? It’s not. You can remove it and open up an entirely new space that you didn’t know existed.

Remember, breaking down old identities can be tough. It’s like peeling away layers of an onion. There might be tears, and it might sting, but each layer brings you closer to the core of who you truly are. If we can embrace this process, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities, becoming individuals who are not just the sum of our past experiences but the architects of our future selves.

So, next time you find yourself stuck in an old pattern, ask yourself: What part of my identity do I need to break down to become who I could be? And then, take that first courageous step towards change.