"Todos necesitamos a alguien que nos mire para ver a la persona real, profundamente enterrada bajo la superficie, más de lo que necesitamos a otra persona para hablar."

We all have layers, right? On the outside, there’s the version of us that we show the world – the one that’s all smiles, polite nods, and small talk. But underneath that exterior, there’s a deeper, more vulnerable self. This quote is really getting at the idea that what we truly crave is for someone to see past that outer shell and get to the real us. It's not just about chatting or passing the time. It's about genuine connection and understanding.

Think of it like this: have you ever been at a party or a crowded place, surrounded by people and noise, but felt completely alone? It’s not the lack of conversation that makes you feel this way, but rather the absence of someone who truly sees you, recognizes what’s beneath your social exterior, and validates your inner experiences.

Historically, this kind of sentiment isn’t new. It echoes what many philosophers and thinkers have pondered about human relationships and the need for deep understanding. For instance, in the early 20th century, psychoanalyst Carl Jung talked about the ‘persona’ – the social mask we wear – and how important it is for our mental health to be recognized for who we genuinely are underneath that mask.

Let’s bring it to life with a story. Imagine Julia. She’s a powerhouse at work, always on top of her game, and her colleagues see her as the go-to person for solving problems. But outside the office, Julia feels a bit lost. One evening, at a company retreat, she finds herself sitting by the campfire with Tom, a relatively new coworker. They start talking and, instead of focusing on work, Tom asks Julia about her childhood, her dreams, and her fears. He listens, really listens, and Julia finds herself opening up in a way she hasn’t for years. Tom isn’t just making conversation – he’s seeing her. That’s what the quote is about.

So, how do we apply this in our own lives? Start by being more present when you’re with others. Instead of thinking about what you’ll say next, really listen. Ask questions that go beyond the surface. Show that you care about the answers. It’s about creating a safe space where someone feels seen and valued for who they truly are. And, on the flip side, be willing to let your own guard down. Share a bit of your inner self with someone you trust. It's a two-way street.

Let’s paint another scenario. Picture a teenager named Sam. He’s got a loving family and friends, but he’s been struggling with his identity and feeling misunderstood. One day, his older sister, who’s been away at college, comes home. Instead of the usual light-hearted banter, she takes Sam for a drive. They end up at their favorite spot by the lake. She turns to him and says, “Tell me what’s really going on.” Sam hesitates but sees the genuine concern in her eyes. He starts to talk, haltingly at first, then more freely. His sister listens without judgment, offering support and understanding. In that moment, Sam feels a weight lift off his shoulders. He feels seen.

In our fast-paced, often superficial interactions, let’s try to be the person who sees others. It might be the most meaningful gift we can give.