"در عزاداری، دنیاست که فقیر و خالی شده است؛ در اندوهگینی، خود من است که فقیر و خالی شده است."

When you're grieving, it feels like the world around you has lost its color, its vibrancy. Everything seems dull and lifeless. This is because you're mourning the loss of something or someone that was a part of your world. It's a loss that you can point to—a void that's been created outside of yourself.

On the other hand, when you're experiencing melancholia, the emptiness is within you. It's not just the world that feels empty, it's your very sense of self. You lose interest in everything, and it feels like there's a hole inside you that you can't fill no matter what. Your own identity feels diminished, and that's a much deeper, more internal struggle.

To give you some context, this distinction between mourning and melancholia was notably explored by Sigmund Freud in his 1917 paper "Mourning and Melancholia". Freud was trying to understand the different ways people experience and handle loss. Mourning, in his view, was a healthy process of coming to terms with loss, while melancholia was more pathological and involved a significant blow to one's self-esteem and sense of self.

Imagine this: Jane, a woman who just lost her beloved dog, Max. She feels a deep sense of loss. Her routine is disrupted—no more early morning walks in the park, no more playful barks greeting her when she comes home. This is mourning. Jane is grieving the loss of Max, and her world feels a bit poorer without him.

Now, think about John. John hasn't lost anyone recently, but he feels a persistent sense of emptiness and worthlessness. He can't find joy in anything he used to love. Even when he’s surrounded by friends and family, he feels alone. This is melancholia. It’s not about something outside of him, it’s about how he feels about himself. His own sense of self is eroded.

So, how do you apply this understanding to your own life? First, recognize what you’re dealing with. Are you mourning a loss, or are you feeling a deeper, more pervasive sense of emptiness within yourself? This awareness is the first step.

If you’re mourning, give yourself permission to grieve. Let the sadness come, and acknowledge the value of what you’ve lost. Share your feelings with friends or family. They can help you process your grief. And remember, it's okay to seek professional help if you need it.

If you’re dealing with melancholia, it’s important to seek help from a mental health professional. They can guide you through therapies that can rebuild your sense of self. Engage in activities that can help boost your self-esteem. Sometimes, just talking to someone who understands can make a huge difference.

Here’s a relatable scenario: Imagine you’re in a coffee shop. You see two people. One is staring at a photo, tears silently streaming down their face. The other is just staring blankly at their coffee, looking lost and disconnected from the world. The first person is mourning—they’re grieving a specific loss. The second person is experiencing melancholia—they’re struggling with a loss that's more about their own inner world.

Understanding these concepts can help you be kinder to yourself and others. Grief and loss are complex and multifaceted, and knowing the difference can help you navigate through them more compassionately. So next time you or someone you know is going through a tough time, think back to Jane and John, and remember that it’s okay to seek the help you need.