"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'"

Freud's quote about the mysteriousness of understanding what women want gets to the heart of a universal human curiosity. He spent over three decades studying the human psyche, yet he admits he couldn't crack the code of the feminine soul. Simply put, Freud is saying that, despite all his efforts and expertise, he still found it challenging to understand women's desires and motivations fully.

Freud said this during a time when gender roles were very rigid and largely defined by societal expectations. Women were often seen through a lens of domesticity and motherhood, and their aspirations and desires were largely dismissed or misunderstood. Perhaps Freud’s own struggles to understand women reflected a broader cultural perplexity.

Now, let's bring this to life with a real-world example. Picture a couple, Emily and John. They've been married for a few years, and John feels like he still doesn't quite understand what Emily needs to feel fulfilled and happy. Emily, a passionate artist, often expresses her desires through her paintings. John, on the other hand, works in finance and thinks in terms of numbers and figures. Despite their love for each other, John struggles to grasp Emily's emotional needs and creative aspirations.

What John could do to bridge this gap is simple, yet profound: active listening. Imagine him sitting down with Emily, without the distraction of his phone or the TV, and genuinely asking her about her latest project. When she starts talking about her art, he listens—really listens—without interrupting or trying to offer solutions. Just by doing that, he's showing he values her inner world.

So, how do you apply Freud's insight to your own life? Start by acknowledging that understanding someone else, especially someone of the opposite sex, is a lifelong journey. We often think we know what our partners want, but we rarely take the time to ask and truly listen. Here’s a piece of advice: make it a habit to have regular, open conversations with your partner about their needs and desires. Don’t assume you know what they want—ask them.

Picture a scenario where you and your partner sit down once a week to check in with each other. You ask questions like, “What’s been on your mind lately?” or “Is there something you’ve been wanting to talk about?” These questions might seem simple, but they open the door to deeper understanding. And remember, it’s not just about asking the questions, but also about listening without judgment.

To wrap it up, think of Freud’s quote as a reminder that understanding each other is an ongoing process. It’s okay not to have all the answers. What’s important is the effort you put into understanding. So next time you find yourself puzzled by what a woman (or anyone) wants, remember that the key might just be in the questions you ask and the ears you lend. It’s a journey, not a destination. And isn’t that what makes relationships so beautifully complex?