"Si les soldats sont punis avant qu'ils ne vous soient attachés, ils ne se montreront pas dociles ; et s'ils ne sont pas dociles, ils seront pratiquement inutiles. Si, lorsque les soldats se sont attachés à vous, les punitions ne sont pas appliquées, ils se"

When managing a team or group, fostering a sense of respect and loyalty before enforcing strict rules or punishments is crucial. If you discipline people before they trust and respect you, they won’t be as willing to follow your lead. And if you don’t maintain discipline even after gaining their attachment, they won’t be useful either. It’s all about balance.

This idea comes from Sun Tzu’s "The Art of War," an ancient Chinese military treatise. Sun Tzu, a military strategist, compiled wisdom on warfare that’s still relevant today, not just in the military but also in leadership and management contexts. When he wrote about soldiers and punishment, he was emphasizing the importance of building relationships with troops before enforcing discipline. This principle applies far beyond the battlefield.

Now, let’s bring this concept to life with a real-world example. Imagine a startup company led by a new CEO. In the early days, the CEO spends time getting to know the team, understanding their strengths, and building trust. She listens to their ideas, celebrates their successes, and shows genuine care for their well-being. Over time, the team grows attached to her, respecting her leadership because they feel valued.

One day, a significant deadline is missed because a team member repeatedly failed to follow the process. The CEO has a choice: let it slide or enforce the rules. Because she’s already built a solid relationship with the team, she decides to address the issue directly. She calls a meeting, discusses what went wrong, and enforces necessary consequences. The team understands and accepts this because they respect her and trust that she’s fair. This balance of attachment and discipline keeps the team productive and cohesive.

So, how can you apply this wisdom in your life? Whether you’re a manager, a coach, or a parent, the first step is to build a strong, respectful relationship with those you lead. Show them you care—listen to them, support them, and earn their trust. Once you’ve established this bond, don’t shy away from enforcing rules or addressing issues. It’s about maintaining respect and ensuring everyone knows that while you value them, there are standards to uphold.

Think about a soccer coach. Imagine you’re coaching a new team of kids. If you start off by being strict and punishing every mistake, they’ll likely resent you and won’t perform well. But if you spend time getting to know them, encouraging them, and building their confidence, they’ll start to trust you. Then, when you need to enforce discipline—like making them run extra laps for not following instructions—they’ll accept it and understand it’s part of getting better as a team.

In essence, it’s about balance. Build the relationship first, then maintain discipline. The combination of respect and rules creates a foundation for effective leadership. It’s not just about being liked or feared; it’s about being respected and knowing when to be firm. So next time you find yourself in a leadership role, remember to focus on building that connection first—then the discipline will naturally follow.