"التعريفات تخص المُعَرِّفيِن، وليست المُعَرَّفِين"

The main idea here is that the power to describe or define something lies with the person doing the defining, not with the thing being described. This means that how something is labeled or understood often says more about the person who labeled it than the thing itself.

This idea was notably articulated by the author Toni Morrison. She often spoke about how language shapes our understanding of the world and can be used as a tool of power. This quote underscores the importance of who gets to create those definitions and how that influences our perceptions.

Think about the term "success." For some, success might mean having a high-paying job and a big house. For others, it might mean having a close-knit family and a peaceful life. The definition of success is in the hands of the person defining it. An example of this in practice would be how different cultures define beauty. In some cultures, beauty might be associated with fair skin and slim figures, while in others, it might be connected to darker skin tones and fuller bodies. The people with the power to define beauty in any given society can shape how everyone else sees and values themselves.

So, how can you apply this wisdom in your life? Start by questioning the definitions that shape your world. Who decided what's "normal," "successful," or "beautiful"? Challenge those definitions and consider making your own. For example, if the traditional career path doesn't appeal to you, define success on your terms. Maybe it means having the freedom to travel or spend more time with your loved ones. By taking control of how you define key aspects of your life, you can live more authentically and feel more fulfilled.

Imagine you're at a family gathering, and everyone is asking about your job. You might feel pressured to define your worth by your career status, especially if your family equates success with job titles and salaries. But what if you shifted the conversation? You could talk about the personal projects you're passionate about or the volunteer work that gives your life meaning. By doing so, you challenge the narrow definition of success and open up new ways for others to think about what's truly valuable.

Or consider this scenario: You're a high school student, and everyone around you seems obsessed with getting into prestigious colleges. The definition of success is getting that acceptance letter from an Ivy League school. But maybe you define success differently. Perhaps, for you, success means finding a school where you can thrive creatively or a place that offers a strong community vibe. By sticking to your definition, you can make choices that better suit who you are and what you need.

In the end, remember that definitions—when imposed from the outside—can limit and confine us. But when we take the reins and define our own terms, we gain freedom and agency. So, don't just accept the labels and definitions handed to you. Make your own, and live by them. It’s not always easy, but it’s a crucial step towards living a life that’s true to you.